"F-5 Yard Line".
Despite being told many times, Lesnar refuses
to stop charging line-men in his own "unique"
manner, which includes scooping them up and twirling
them through the air. He also misunderstood the
referee's call of a flag on the play, hearing the
word "fag" and going berserk." I don't like
Gays !" Lesnar growled. Before bending
over again, and fondly thinking back to his days of
pantslessly cinching and grinding men in the
completely un-gay world of Amateur Wrestling.
Also, Brock has been reprimanded on several
occasions for discussing impending plays with the
RIVAL team, eventually coming to his own defense by
spouting that his only intention was to "put
together a believable game." The following was
transcribedfrom this controversialmoment:
approaches other team's huddle**
guys; here's what's going to happen. You catch the
kick off, and you get about say 40 yards out. Then
I'll tackle you and retrieve the ball. Then for the
next, I don't know, 10-15 minutes, I'll get the heat
and go to about the 95 Yard line, when suddenly you
make the hot tag to your line-men. From there,
you'll make the big babyface comeback, catch the
ball, give me a Rock Bottom, and get the touchdown.
That's the finish."
Opposing Teams' Quarter-Back: "Umm, Football is
fuck, since when?!..."
"Dying to see the Big Game".
was responsible for somewhat of a P.R. nightmare
when he hurled a visiting "Make A Wish" Foundation
youngster down the steep Stadium stairs. Brock's
defense was that he thought it would generate some
great "Heel Heat" for the team, and that at his
previous vocation, "that's what you did with
crippled retards". Perhaps, wiping the child's blood
on his own chest was not the best recourse either...
"Here Comes The
Much to the
dismay of his Coaches and other players, Brock has
opted on several occasions to park his sprawling
Private Jet on the 50 Yard Line.
"Like it's going to fit in the
fucking parking lot!" said Brock ignorantly.
The only person even mildly amused by the
situation seems to be current Smackdown color
analyst, Tazz, who constantly shows up at games
and runs onto the field and yells "HERE COMES THE
PLANE!" to little reaction. " What? dat's no
good? Well, what if I said sumfin about it bein' off
a da chain or a reo rocketbusta? No? Well, I can say
odder 'tings dat don't sound retahded, you know!
Really, it's true! Dey just don't
ever let me"
said a disgruntled Tazz, before breaking into tears
and taking his own life while Paul Heyman explained
the way he was choking himself was illegal in judo
but legal in wrestling. Or something.
Despite Brock's best intentions, Brock's
"hand-picked" Cheerleader has proven to be somewhat
distracting to his own team-mates (as seen
right), and thanks to her seemingly dissolving in
the Team's hot tub backstage, many players were not
able to utilize it to loosen up their muscles and
subsequently half the squad is now on injury
Brock's reply to the situation was also met with
disdain: "How was I supposed to know she'd
disintegrate? Since when does plastic melt at
really high temperatures? This is all BS. I coulda
just put 'em in the Brock-lock if they were so
fucking insistent on gettin' stretched out. All they
had to do was ask!".
Much to the terror of almost everyone
involved, Brock apparently misunderstood the Coach's
request for Lesnar to "go for a long bomb", which
unfortunately wielded some disturbing results. "I
don't get it." said Brock after the tragedy. "Big
Show used to blow up all the time in the ring with
me, and no one ever died...".