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For the week of February 17,
2008
The WEI is a weekly look at the events that
have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of
oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so
love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in
which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100
would be wrestling nirvana.
Remember, all links in WEI open up in a new
browser window. So feel free to check stuff out, we'll be here when
you get back!
TMZ “breaks” the news: Steph prego again! I love
TMZ, especially their low-rent TV show that opens with a “production
meeting” that is more worked than anything ever done in wrestling.
TMZ also covers a lot of stuff in or involving wrestling and were
especially on top of the Nick Hogan crap that went down last year.
TMZ broke this “worldwide scoop” despite the fact that Bryan Alvarez
had reported it in the latest issue of the Figure Four Weekly that
previous Tuesday. I’m sure we’re all shocked that Harvey Levin isn’t
a subscriber, although who knows, he could possibly be a lurker on
The Board. What does this mean for the wrestling world? Who knows,
and more importantly, who cares? I’m tired of Triple H and Stephanie
stories, although at least this may take away from her time spent
checking WWE writer’s emails and cell phone logs to see who is
talking to the sheets. WEI Score: It’s a
wash ***Have you seen the latest Jakks
WWE stuff from Toy Fair 2008 over at WrestlingFigs? Tremendous coverage and
there is some pretty cool stuff coming out. I personally love the
“animated” style that can go right next to my Kevin Smith figures.
And of course all wrestling action figure fans should be caught up
on every single episode of the Curtain
Jerkers,
right?
Missy Hyatt starts up an art site? Missy
Hyatt, she of the newly released YouShoot
DVD
(which would have made a great Valentine’s Day for that special lady
in your life…Oh Christ, who am kidding?) recently opened a new
website that spotlights her paintings.
Seriously. Check it out at Missy Hyatt Art dot
Com. I’ll
be honest, this wasn’t what I was expecting. After Missy Hyatt’s
Wrestling Vixxxens stuff and the like, I expected her art to be
something like paint put on her boobs and then applied to a canvas.
But color me surprised as the site has some samples of her work and
several of them actually intrigue me. Hell, one I wouldn’t mind
having in my house! Missy Hyatt, artiste, who’da thunk it? WEI Score: + 1 ***Did you see the footage from the upcoming
movie “The Wrestler” over at Ain’t It Cool? If not, Click HERE. The movie stars Mickey Rourke,
off his amazing performance in Sin City
and directed by the guy who did Requiem for
a Dream and Pi. You’ll also get to
see the biggest douchebags on the planet, CZW fans, and a clear
example of why wrestling and, more specifically, wrestling fans are
see as the lowest rung on the geek ladder by normal human beings.
Shoot Interview with The Sandman 2007 DVD - The guy
has seemingly done over a thousand shoots, but like Jim Cornette, I
just can’t get enough of the Sandman telling stories and this latest
release from RF Video is as good as his best. This was recorded
shortly after Sandman was released from the new and improved ECW, so you get stories
that detail what it was like in the backstage environment of WWE
from a shockingly candid and lucid Sandman. I’m talking one good
story after another here as only Hak can tell him. One of my
favorite parts of the entire interview has nothing to do with
Sandman though, as its Sandman’s kid who steals the show as a
wrestling uber genius. Imagine if Dave Meltzer and wrestling
historian Keith
Lipinski
had a love child. That kid would remember half as much about
wrestling as Sandman’s kid. All of us can remember the big angles
and matches we have seen, but this kid can remember the most obscure
Raw match from years ago. Just mesmerizing stuff. Awesome, awesome shoot. Sandman is in rare form and
publicly talks about the alleged heat between him and Ricky
Steamboat, what really went down on the African tour, and why he
stayed in the ring so long the night in which Hornswoggle was
revealed to be Vince McMahon’s son. Highly recommended. Click
HERE to
get this one. WEI Score: + 2
***Proof that there is a higher being? Kayfabe
Commentaries just announced that The Sandman will be the next guy
for YouShoot! Hallelujah!
The HEYMAN HUSTLE debuts! The UK Sun
debuted The
Heyman Hustle this week, a video feature in which former ECW
cult leader Paul Heyman does what Heyman does best, try to shock
people. For the first feature, Paul scored a coup by getting some
sort of girl from Survivor, one that
appeared in no less than Playboy, natch, to lock lips with another
girl. It’s quick and that’s what I like about it. I’m looking
forward to what Heyman brings to the table in future weeks. There’s
also another great
interview
with the mad scientist of extreme posted at the Sun’s site. Check it
out, although it does have the major bummer line of Heyman talking
about why he’ll never do a shoot interview. DAMN IT! WEI Score: + 2
In
a related note, I got an email this week from a WEI reader who
wasn’t that happy that I promoted The Sun. Apparently the Sun wrote
some sort of article that upset a great amount of people concerning
the Hillsborough disaster, which was when 96 people died
during a soccer game. The Sun’s headlines after the disaster were,
shall we say, less than respectful. And I’m sure you’re shocked to
learn it’s distributed by a company owned by Rupert Murdoch. If
anyone would like to check out this reader’s passionate email
condemning The Sun, email me and I’ll send it to you so that you can
make your own informed opinion. As for myself, what can I say? I’m
still a WWE fan and they have done things just as crass as the Sun,
if not worse. And I still want to know what pictures the Sun must
have on McMahon to get the incredible access that no one else in the
world seems to get. Inconcievable!
Rebuilding the Sheik DVD - I’ve given major props to
Kayfabe
Commentaries for some of their brilliant ideas in the realm
of wrestling DVDs. I’ve gushed over the YouShoot series and I think
the My Side
of the Story concept has some major potential (that’s not
to say the first edition with Greg Valentine and Tito Santana isn’t
cool, especially with Valentine looking like a real life cigar store
Indian by this point). Out of nowhere comes another interesting DVD
entitled Rebuilding the Sheik which is
something I didn’t see coming at all. It’s actual a documentary of
sorts which focuses on The Iron Sheik and his promoter, Eric Simms.
Many of you right now are tuning off, probably thinking of all the
shoots that Simms has stuck his big mouth in and tried to ruin. This
DVD is so good that you don’t even want to strangle Eric Simms after
it is finished, and if that doesn’t speak for how good it is, I
don’t know does as Simms may actually be the single most annoying
person in the history of professional wrestling, and imagine the
ground that covers. The DVD is a sobering look at the life of
Sheiky baby and sets the record straight on what is, and what isn’t,
a work. Many people on the message boards I visit have bitched about
previous Sheik related DVDs, mostly feeling that the producers of
the discs were taking advantage of Sheik. However, this feature puts
across the idea that it is Sheik who is taking advantage of them, at
least to the degree that he comes across as a person
so-close-to-the-edge-he-may-fall, but in reality is in complete
control of the situation. At the same time, it clearly shows the
demons that Sheik battles on a daily basis and how that contributes
to his “gimmick.” Host Sean Oliver guides the DVD through several
interesting areas, such as the Dan Mirade incident, the Toronto
meltdown, and some of his famous curse filled rants. The difference
is that Sheik is now looking at those events with a new, more calmer
perspective that is refreshing to watch. This is not your father’s
shoot interview, as the cover proclaims it is more a journey of
sorts into the mind of the Iron Sheik and what the man behind the
rants is really like. Click
HERE to
get your copy. WEI Score: + 1
***Marvel Comics’ website recently featured an
interview with Gregory
Helms.
Helms, a lifelong comic book fan, talks about the 30-40 books on his
pull list a month (~!), Civil War, his favorite characters, how he
got into wrestling, and a whole lot more. Good article, but he’ll
always be Sugar Shane Helms, or the Hurricane, in my book. Although
I just read in the Observer that Helms
has been dating TNA Knockout Velvet Sky for years and the two live
together, so now I hate him. ***I hope you saw the trailer
for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal
Skrull.
I can not WAIT!
Last Week’s WEI near-unreadable: I’m
sure most of you reading WEI for the first time ever last week were
probably thinking, is this Derek Burgan a
complete moron or what? He couldn’t tie Pat McNeill’s shoes!
Over on the F4W version, WEI was about as readable as Sanskrit and the Observer version wasn’t
much better with all the weird spacing and half of it being in ALL BOLD. I have to take a page out of Gene
Snitsky’s playbook and scream, “it’s not my
fault!” Well, some of it was, but it’s stuff that’s not going to
be fixed for you Dear Reader. Many people think that the Two Towers
are located in Isengard and Mordor, but in reality they refer to the
palatial Meltzer estate in Northern California and Bryan Alvarez’s
condo in the backwoods of Washington (in a trivia note, the condo
was once owned by fellow Washington native Ted Bundy). Trying to
communicate with the Two Towers is not unlike trying to “herd cats,”
a phrase I was recently taught by a powerful wrestling personality.
We can all forgive Dave. I mean let’s be
honest, he’s the busiest guy on the planet, what with writing for
yahoo.com, writing a book sized wrestling newsletter (or two) every
week, texting Dwayne Johnson about how The Gameplan opened in
Bangladesh, and doing various wrestling and mma audio
shows. An email from me trying to correct some minor html mistake is
kinda like Vince McMahon listening to Paul London complain about not
being able to do the Shooting Star Press. Which is why my Doin’ Time with New Jack review is still in ALL BOLD and will continue to be in perpetuity, all because
of one missed html character. Alvarez on the other hand lives in
what he admits to be the smallest Wrestling Bubble this side of the
TNA management offices in Nashville, TN. It’s not that Bryan hasn’t
watched an episode of Seinfeld, he’s
never even heard of Seinfeld. After
sending a dozen emails to Bryan, each correcting something minor, I
live in fear that a new DethTour will make a stop down here in
Florida during WrestleMania to stretch me out. So I just let it go.
(Actually, I don’t let it go, I just rant and rave to Keith Lipinski
and anyone else who will listen to me, acting like some five year
old kid.)
Rest assured, I’m doing everything in my power
so that future WEI’s will not have the same mistakes, to give you,
Dear Reader, the pleasurable experience you deserve each and every
week. And whenever you see something that drives you up a wall, you
can sleep easy knowing that the very same thing is making me lose my
f---ing mind as well. WEI Score: - 10
*** Did you know The Rock made an appearance at
Universal Studios? Unfortunately he wasn’t there to promote a Southland Tales thrill ride in which each
passenger sits in a ride vehicle and forced to watch the movie until
they jump out the back, leading to a 250 foot drop.
WWE puts up a poll for their new slogan:
As a male in a highly coveted demographic, I’m used to following the
pied piper anywhere as long as he’s singing a sweet song, or in this
case, an awful tagline. Just Do It. Where’s the Beef?. Tastes Great, Less Filling. A Diamond is Forever. Priceless. Get the F out. Get
It? The New Generation. These are all examples of
brainwashing slogans that have had me lining up at the register,
disposable cash in hand. WWE has recently put out a POLL that asks people to give their vote on which
slogan would work best for the company. Some interesting stuff
there, including a couple that at the very least they know TNA can’t
use such as Let Us Entertain You. Head
on over and cast your vote, but while you are thinking about it,
also check out Sean Carless’ Slogan Poll
parody
over at the Wrestling Fan website. WEI –
1 ***Have you seen the uncensored satellite feed
of the famous Steve Austin/Brian Pillman gun angle on Raw from years
ago? Interesting stuff, especially if you are interested in what really goes into making these skits and how
much actual work gets done just for a couple minutes of airtime.
Just click on Part One, Part Two, and Part Three to see it all. To me it was like
seeing Alan Moore’s proposed pitch for Watchmen that I talked about last week.
This is a part of the creative process that we never see and because
entertaining because of it. Although I just realized I compared the
written genius of Alan Moore to a crass angle during Crash TV, so
clearly I’m losing my mind.
Jonny Fairplay rumored to be signing a new
deal with TNA: This should surprise no one as it makes no sense
business-wise whatsoever and adds absolutely nothing to the show. I
wonder if Dixie Carter is going to like the new Knight Rider show on NBC and pay some money
so that Jeremy Borash can drive around the Impact Zone in K.I.T.T.
“Michael, I see low buyrates ahead…” WEI Score: - 1
***Speaking of Fairplay, whatever happened to
that frivolous lawsuit he filed last October against Danny Bonaduce?
***I need a new logo for WEI, so if you are a
creative cat and want to submit a sample, send them to the email
below. We’ll reward anything top notch appropriately.
***It’s really amazing that Gabe Sapolsky
hasn’t pulled out every single hair in his head, especially seeing
what goes on at the ROH.com message boards. Don’t believe me? Check
out this
thread,
and when you are done, read
this little bit of insanity.
***WWE.com continues to work the Maria
doing Playboy dealie. I’m actually worried if this photoshoot
actually does take place as our poor WEI graph may actually EXPLODE
at that point.
***Well, this is a weird one. WWE.com put up a
tribute to the 25th
anniversary of Michael Jackson’s Thriller
Album.
It’s hard to imagine now, but when I was growing up, Michael Jackson
was THE pop star. Think Britney Spears at her peak and then multiply
by a factor of a hundred. MTV used to be so huge as well and I
clearly remember wanted to see the debut of the Thriller video in
the worst way, and it didn’t disappoint in the least. For it’s time,
the video was amazing and had everyone
under the age of 25 buzzing about it. Then we find out later that
Michael Jackson was 100% batshit insane. Oh well, at least you can’t
take that moment of time away from me. WEI
Score: - 1
WWE releases their greatest t-shirt,
EVER: Normally I’m not a big fan of WWE shirts, or wrestling
shirts in general. In fact, I would say 99% of them are complete dog
shit that people should be beaten for wearing out in public. Sure,
I’ve bought a couple in my years of fandom. My bWo and Triple Threat
shirts from ECW. A Tajiri “Spider-Man” and some Hurricane shirts
from WWE. A couple New Blood shirts from WCW. And a Beulah t-shirt
from ECW that we shall never discuss
again. Up until this point every John Cena shirt has fallen into
the “dogshit” category. All 1,945 of them. Then, out of nowhere
comes this BRLLIANT
SHIRT
that evokes the old pro wrestling game on the original Nintendo
Entertainment System. You spoiled young brats have probably never
used a cartridge game in your life, not understanding the subtle
nuance of how to correctly blow onto the circuit board in order to
get the game to play one more time. Let me tell you something, this
is nostalgia the way I like it, directed RIGHT AT ME. WEI Score: + 2 ***And finally, the Million
Dollar Man’s son was
another victim of the TAMPA CURSE. He faces a DUI charge after
getting into an accident at 3:30a.m., blowing a .13 and slurring his
speech. Not too unusual for a wrestler. Hell, that’s Kurt Angle when
he wakes up in the morning. Maybe we’ll see Ted Jr. jump onto what
the Honky Tonk Man calls the “Oh Brother” tour to raise money to pay
the upcoming court costs and fines… 
COMICS~! Iron
Man: Demon in a Bottle: How can you not be jazzed by the upcoming
Iron Man movie featuring Robert Downey Jr. That, along with the
prominent role Iron Man played in the excellent Civil Wars series
from Marvel has made Iron Man a main event player again. It’s time
to read a classic Iron Man tale, one that dealt with an issue in
comics that had never been done before: a bonafide alcoholic
superhero. Groundbreaking stuff, approaching the level of Denny
Green/Neal Adam’s stuff in Green Arrow/Green Lantern or the stuff in
Amazing Spider-Man that made the absurd Comics Code revise itself.
There’s a differing layer of quality in all three, with clearly the
Neal Adams’ stuff being some of the best things done in comics ever, but the Iron Man story is still one
worth reading. It has the standard superhero fare, but it’s the
battle with the bottle that makes this book an involving read. One
of my favorite comics of all time is Daredevil: Born Again, and this
book shares a quality with that one in that the hero hits absolute
bottom, and then falls some more, before struggling to come back to
the man he once was. Wrestling could learn a lot from comics (or
well written TV shows, or well written movies) in that the audience
wants to believe in their heroes and ultimately triumph over evil.
This is something that hasn’t change over time and will never change. Click
HERE to
get a hold of Iron Man: Demon in a
Bottle, and at 34% off to boot!
DVD of the week! The King
of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters - My favorite documentary in years and in
centers on two guys battling over the world record to, of all
things, the video game Donkey Kong. The cast of characters in this
movie are incredible, to the point that now Hollywood writer could
have possibly written them as audiences would have found too
unbelievable. On one side, Steve Wiebe, your general nice guy
sadsack who has had all the rotten luck in the world. On the others
side, Billy Mitchell, a guy who is such a natural heel you’d think
he had spent his entire life in wrestling. In between there are
Mitchell’s sycophants and others caught in the headlights of one of
the most bizarre “battles” you will ever bear witness to. This film
is seriously entertaining and by the end you will be amazed by
everything that went down. I personally was shocked to find out that
I had spent the majority of my life just an hour south of the Video
Game Capitol of the World, as apparently legit video game records
are all officially recorded at this white trash Disneyland called
FunSpot in Weirs Beach, NH. Check out this fantastic interview with Billy Mitchell by the Onion’s AV
club that
shows what a douchebag this guy can be even through the written
word. And after reading that you’ll probably be thinking what I was,
how can I get a copy of Mister Awesome’s
book?! If you don’t know who Mister Awesome is, well, read that
interview. Any enemy of Billy Mitchell is a friend of mine and that
book sounds juicy!
WHAT?! You haven’t seen The King of Kong yet? Then Click
HERE
delivered to your door, and at a discount to boot!
Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment
Index: 57
This week's net change: - 4
Current
enjoyment level: 53
PERMA-LINKS:
*
Orlando
Attractions Magazine - If you are a theme park NUT like me, you owe
it to yourself to sign up for this fantastic magazine that
spotlights all the great stuff down here in Florida. Disney World.
Universal. Sea World, and just a ton of other stuff. Top notch
articles and brilliant photographs make this one of my favorite
things to read. It also helps to have several wrestling tie-ins,
since several wrestlers (Scotty 2 Hotty, Mick Foley among others)
are theme park fanatics as well!
* Scarface: The Devil in Disguise
TPB - A
collection of the superb four issue series from IDW publishing.
Written by a wrestling fan and featuring the backstory of one of
Hollywood’s most charismatic, not to mention controversial,
characters: Tony Montana! If you enjoyed the movie, you’ll enjoy
this.
*
The Full Pint’s
website -
If you are a fan of beer, like me, than this is your one stop
destination for all things beer. Reviews, news, and a ton of
entertaining stuff will be found here. Check it out!
Special thanks to: ”Sensational” Scott Paris, wrestling historian extraordinaire Keith
Lipinski,
and Ian
Hamilton,
“Hollywood” Mike Roe, and Eric Fishlegs for their help brining WEI
to life this week.
And of course no one of this would be possible without the talented hands of The Wrestling Fan’s
Sean Carless, who has recently vowed to never make another Triple H parody again if WWE keeps The Game out of the main event slot at WrestleMania.
There are some that say that this is an impossible promise, akin to Carrot Top vowing to never make a joke using props, but
check out Sean’s Wrestling Fan site to read the vow and TAKE THE POLL~!
Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD
reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. He even has a MySpace page. If you have any questions, corrections,
feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek can be reached at: derek@gumgod.com.
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