Hey there, Rasslin
nuts, I'm your venerable host Sean Carless, and welcome
to Summer Slam! WWE's answer to the summer games! Only
unlike the Olympics, Batista won’t be expected to piss
into a cup before he's allowed to compete. Lucky him.
Anyhoo, tonight’s
pay-per-view comes to us from Toronto-- the land that
once convinced Vince that another Hulk Hogan World title
reign was a good idea. Meh. Why couldn't Bin Laden have
aimed for the CN Tower in 2001 and saved us that grief?
I mean, come on, it's a bigger building! Ahem.
Onto the show~!
Paul London, Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio vs.
The Dudleys (Spike, D-Von and Bubba Ray)
Am I the only one
who’s noticed that “Boyz” has been dropped from the
Dudleys intro? Am I the only one who cares? Probably.
Apparently you're only allowed to have the word "boy" as
your moniker in this company if you're well over forty
years old. Makes sense to me.
Anyway, Kidman and
London are apparently the "real deal" as a team now,
because they finally have matching outfits . Only they
looked like they mugged AJ Styles to get them. How very
un-phenomenal of them. Poor AJ. I get the visual of him
laying somewhere, naked, face down on the floor,
unconscious, and alone. He's just lucky he works for TNA
and not WWE. There's a few people here whose names rhyme
with Pat Patterson who just might take advantage of a
situation like that. Penis.
Wait, there’s a
match going on here! And it’s very good! London actually
stands out here, and in turn actually manages to get a
few "oohs" and "ahhs" out of a crowd who probably throws
their own grandmothers down the stairs for fun. Then
they take the insurance money collected from her death
and buy a few Hulk Hogan T-Shirts... BECAUSE THEY'RE
LIVING IN THE PAST., BRUTHER.
From there, London
pretty much plays Ricky Morton in peril, only sans
mullet, and a wallet full of cash, and not having a
running taxi waiting when child support payments are
due, taking the majority of the punishment. It's just
then I realize that the babyface team is arguably the
lightest six-man tag team in history, and I laugh at the
irony that all 3 men combined still weigh less than most
of the writers in the IWC by themselves. I then remember
I'm a part of that very same IWC and die a little
inside. While eating and not getting laid.
Eventually, a hot
tag is made, and a virtual cornucopia of cruiserweight
funneries batters Little Spike into semi-submission,
leaving him prey for a Rey-Rey 619 and a follow-up
Kidman shooting star press. And since it's not
Wrestlemania, it ACTUALLY CONNECTS~! Kidman then goes to
cover, but gets pulled out by a swollen D-Von to break
the pin attempt. Long story short, Kidman eats a 3D by
the brothers Dudley, and Spike collects the pin. I'd
point out the irony of an incredibly one dimensional
Billy Kidman jobbing to a Three dimensional finish, but
I'm not that kind of guy. Oh wait. Yes I am.
Winners: Bubba,
D-Von and. our friend, Spike Dudley-- 150 pounds, no
shirt, unruly facial hair and a load of trouble. You may
have seen that episode of Cops. Every week. Forever.
/5
-Video package for
Kane/Matt Hardy/Lita. WWE teaches us the life lesson
that in order to save your boyfriend's life, it's always
smarter to barter yourself for sex with a stalker... and
don't even bother to insist the guy wear a condom. What
could go wrong? (and hey, since when do they sell
maternity pants at Hot Topic?).
Matt Hardy w/ Pajamas (and Lita) vs. Kane w/ the
glow of a proud papa via blackmail rape; "Till death do
us part match."
As Lita + her
toasted bun in the oven makes her way to the ring, Jerry
Lawler astutely points out that a now several month
pregnant woman is starting to “show”. It’s been three
months, Jerry. This shit does happen. Jesus Christ.
Obviously, someone never read “Our Bodies,
Ourselves”….then subsequently masturbated to it because
he couldn’t find his Dad’s skin mags anywhere, and the
Sears catolgue was sealed closed. Wait, forget I said
that….
Anyway, Matt
decidedly takes it to Kane early-- to save Lita the
indignity of having to marry a seven foot demon--by
using a flurry of wrestling action! Yes, I’d think if my
woman's indentured services as a cock puppet was at
stake, I might just do a little more than that; like say
running over Kane with a fucking truck or something. But
hey, why murder a monster who raped your girlfriend when
you can apply HEADLOCKS. That's clearly the better
discourse. Cauliflower ears > pulling a nine,
clearly.
That said, te match
itself is relatively short, but this is to be expected
considering Matt’s injured knee.
After a few hope
spots, (and not just "I hope this feud fucking dies
already") the match finally ends when Matt, like a total
trooper, takes a very stiff top-rope chokeslam to lose
the match... and his girlfriend, as is customary in all
walks of life. It's true. Just the other day, I saw this
happily engaged couple, so I surprised the boyfriend
with a quick Oklahoma roll, and now I'm the one getting
married! And you're all invited! True story.
But seriously, poor
Matt. I feel for you, buddy. But hey, think of the money
you’ll save on child support, dude! And hey, there was
still a 50/50 chance your first born would be delivered
into this world wearing a lucha mask anyway (FISHMAN'S
BOYS CASN SWIM! IT'S NOT JUST A NAME!), so no harm, no
foul. Or fowl. ' Cause she probably fucked Hector
Guerrero at some point, too. Those Mexicans all look
alike~!
So, ya, there are no
losers here! Except the woman who has to give birth to a
one eyed baby who can produce fire from his hands. I'd
maybe take having a cesarean into consideration. Just
saying.
Winner: Kane. (and
he didn’t have to blow money on a fucking ring,
either!). You are the MAN, Kane. Don’t let anyone ever
tell you any different.
/5
-After the bout,
Kane tries to embrace his future bride, but much like
most women with my advances, Lita chooses to run away in
complete horror. Maybe it's because I'm wearing all
black, carrying rope, duct tape, it's midnight and they
don't know me? Who knows. I'm not a mind reader.
-Randy Orton is
interviewed backstage by Tard Grisham, but stops in
mid-promo, and like me, I automatically assume he’s
taken aback by Todd’s stylish emo-glasses for which I
too am fascinated. But no, it’s John Cena, and the two
share a moment. Wow, can a match between these two be
far behind? Can it be? Please?
Booker T. vs. John Cena, First match in the Best
mediocre of seven series (No U.S. Title at stake)
Here were go, a
battle between my two favorite African American WWE
Superstars!
All kidding aside, I
like Cena, I really do, but West Newbury ain't exactly
"the 'Hood", despite what WWE will have you believe now.
In fact, the only Drive-by's you'll see there, is aging
white suburbanites looking for the best garage sales in
the neighborhood. And the only "pieces" they have, are
their toupees, which you can spot a mile away on their
negro-free golf courses. Yup.
Anyway, T.O. crowd
is really behind Cena here, and the two talk trash to
start. It's true. John Cena argues the benefit of
biodegradable bags while Booker defends the continued
practice of using landfills. Or not. I don't care.
As for the match? I
don't know. I went to go eat cookie dough straight from
the tube and missed 3/4's of it. I think it went
something like this, though: SPINEBUSTER, THEN
UNREALISTIC GIMMICK MOVE WHERE YOU POSTURE FOR THIRTY
SECONDS THEN HIT A NON-IMPACT BLOW, AS A DUDE DOES NOT
JUST MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.
Ya.
So, anyway, after
attempting the lethality that is the spinaroonie, Cena
pretty much just scoops Booker's ass up and FU him out
of nowhere to get the win. When will black on black
crime end, yo? YOU'RE BROTHERS. Start acting like it.
[Sean's note from
2007: They actually shortened the series mysteriously to
just a "best of 5" soon after, with two falls
mysteriously disappearing from recorded history. Perhaps
they took place in Rio De Janeiro? That place seems to
always get the big matches~! What gives!].
Winner: John Cena.
(only 6 more matches to go, yo!). Loser: Some dude I
just saw in the crowd with inflatable Cena Word-life
hands. I guess the new "WWE, guess who's never been
laid?" T-shirt was all sold out? Pity. I'd love to own a
piece of clothing that made it official.
/5
(C)"Triple Edge" vs. Batista vs.
Y2J; Triple threat match for Intercontinental
Title;
Huh. I guess Edge
*finally* figured out that perhaps the best way to get a
huge push in this company is to actually PHYSICALLY
TRANSFORM ONE'S SELF INTO TRIPLE H. Dear lord, the
transformation is scary. And as for Triple H himself,
well, if Edge all of a sudden gets the hankering for
some "big-boned ladies", we may FINALLY see someone else
in a World Title match~! Beware, Steph. If you see him
bouncing on the spot in the corner of the room waiting
for you to turn around with no pants, just run!
[Sean's note from
2007: I don't know what I was thinking there. Edge,
steal another man's woman? Like That'd NEVER happen!].
Anyway, first and
foremost, I must say that Batista looked
uncharacteristically oily tonight. Kind of like what a
piece of KFC first looks like when they pull it out of
the fryer. Edge & Y2J probably didn't know whether
to pin him, or have him served with a blob of potato
salad. That being said, this was another short but good
match, but in my opinion the whole “triple threat”
shtick is getting old, fast. Why is standard offense so
much more lethal when there's one other fucking dude out
there? If I was booked in one of these, I'd wear tights
made entirely out of whatever the black boxes on
airplanes are made of, and carry some Nodoze on me when
I get LETHALLY tossed over the ropes, just to be
careful.
By the way, it has
to be said: the crowd absolutely SHIT on Edge... and
this was his HOMETOWN! Fucking Toronto. Hell, even ECW
crowds circa 1995 are saying “Hey, what a bunch of
assholes these guys are! Show some respect! They're
working hard out there!" Good luck ever getting that
chant started again, though.
A good little match
here anyway that saw all three men get their stuff in,
including Batista's CLOTHESLINE OF DEATH on Jericho.
Edge then takes Batista down with a tornado DDT. Animal
cruelty! Edge looks for the flying hug from there, but
Jericho intervenes and stops it, because Edge's hugs are
DEADLY. Christmas-time is always the most awkward day of
the year in the Copeland house. He kills 2 or 3
relatives a season with it. It's true!
Edge: "Who wants
a hug from their Uncle Adam?"
Nephews: "
Please, No!!! They feel like dying!!!..."
Anyway, the c rowd
seemed rabid for a Y2J win (or even a Batista win) so of
course they get Edge, who pins Jericho with the spear to
retain the title afterJerichohad just spring-board
dropkicked Batista off the apron and back into the
Colonel's two piece combo.
After the win, Jerry
Lawler tries to explain that this reaction is only
happening because Toronto is the Bizarro World. But if
that was reallythe case, that'd mean there'd have to be
a Jerry Lawler living here that was repulsed at the very
thought of having sex with 14 year old girls, AMIRITE?
I'm surprised he'd even bother bringing it up...
Winner & STILL
Champion: Edge, who likely is putting on his "I love
Tampa" T-shirt as we speak and having no second thoughts
about it. You thought you knew him.
/5
Kurt Angle w/ Luther vs. Eddie Guerrero w/o
Dobber.
This was a FANTASTIC
match and watching it you’d never even known Kurt was
off for almost 6 months. You remember , from being
"THROWN TO HIS DEATH" by the Big Show? Funny, usually
when I'm tossed thirty feet head first onto concrete, I
tend to die, and not return to action a handful of
months later like nothing happened. But, hey, who knows?
Maybe Show whispered in his ear on the way down his
super-secret way to survive plunges off roofs?
Maybe?
Anyway, they start
with a lot of mat work which Eddie surprisingly
dominates, but Kurt regains the advantage after Luther
gets involved and kicks Eddie in the head... and since
Reigns last name isn’t “Jones” or “Tomko” the kick
actually connects ! Keep this Horshu around, he’s good
people!... good people and an anal rapist, hopefully.
But only because I want to hear the expression "He has a
horshu up his ass!" and laugh and laugh and laugh
because it'd be true, you see.
The story here
itself is Eddie’s “boot” in any event. (at WM 20, Eddie
slithered out of the Anklelock when it came off,
eventually winning the match, and they tried to use the
same psychology here). As the match progressed, Angle
finally removed it himself to add pressure to the ankle
lock, which is a hold he kept going back to. I'd have
maybe tried deportation papers myself. Why not? Fucker
is an admitted thief and liar! That shit has to break
some sort of immigration rule!
Finishing sequence
from there ended up seeing Eddie first miss a frog
splash, (No water in the pool! And there wasn't even any
relatives waiting with a dinghy either!), and Angle gets
the Angle Slam from there-- which I always assumed was
mastered by all members of his family, lest it best be
known as the "Kurt Slam" ....
Kurt: "Hi Mom.
It's been a while. Wait, why are you floating behind? oh
sh..BLARRRRRRGGGH".
...Yup....
....Oh ya, the Slam
connects but Eddie kicks out at two. (dos?). Angle then
accidentally bumps the ref, so Eddie takes the boot and
nails Kurt right between the eyes. He then goes up and
frog splashes Kurt...but he STILL kicks out! "Your
splash may work on other Amphibians, Eddie Guerrero, but
it's no match for a human Kurt Angle!" Kurt then
suddenly grabs Eddie's foot and applies the anklelock,
and uh oh, there's the heel hook. Good bye (Adios?),
Eddie. Tap out. And if you listen close enough it was to
the beat of Calienete music. Only with more anguish and
suffering. But not much more.
Great match. And it
was probably best to have Angle go over to re-build his
stock. Now if only they could rebuild Kurt himself.
Motherfucker's head is probably just being held on by
duct tape now.
Winner: Kurt Angle;
the man who made us believe all guys in wheel chairs are
secretly feigning their condition! Quick, someone tip
Christopher Reeve over and see what happens!
/5
HHH
vs. Eugene;
Cerebral assassin
vs. cerebral….cortex damage ? I don’t know.
Anyway, like I
suspected, Toronto turned on Eugene, proving they don’t
even have sympathy for retards here either. In fact,
after they got done booing Eugene, they probably beat up
the guy who played “Corky” from Life Goes On and dumped
his lifeless body in an alley behind the A.C.C., then
went and pushed a blind guy onto the subway tracks,
rubbed an ice cream cone in a diabetic's face,
hand-cuffed a deaf guy so all he could do is mumble
before going back home and watching Hulk Hogan vs. The
Rock looping over and over again on their VCRs and
masturbating to it whilst cupping their hands to the
ears. I know I did.
In Eugene ’s
defense, though, he remained steadfast in his character
and pretty much ignored the crowd. Funny, in real-life,
disabled people have a bit harder time ignoring their
tormentors. Of course, I'm usually chasing them with my
car at the time. But my point still stands. Even if they
don't when I'm done.
WHAT IS
HAPPENING HERE IN THIS RANT!
Anyway, the match
goes on, goes back and forth, and nothing is getting
over. Even HHH re-enacting pages 1-300 of the big book
of generic heel offense (shoving a woman and “feigning”
an injury) did not work. They still chose to cheer HHH
anyway. Although, HHH is big and orange, so that may
explain the love somewhat...
From there, Eugene
took it to HHH after escaping several Pedigree attempts
by Trips, then hit a flurry of moves, including the Rock
bottom, the Stunner (Stone Cold Steve Autism?) and
finally a PEDIGREE of his own-- but HHH still kicked
out; because he, and he alone is impervious to its
nuclear-like power. And he didn't even have to wear on
of those Homer Simpson nuclear suits either. Go figure.
At this point, Ric
Flair now makes his way to the ring, but so does William
Regal! Flair ends up getting K.O.’d by William Regal
from there, who drops Slick Ric with the “power of the
punch”. Unfortunately though, Regal wasn’t quick enough
to save a distracted Eugene from HHH’s ‘power of the
paunch” and Eugene eats a pedigree from pudgy Hunter and
gets pinned.
Winner: HHH. Loser:
Anyone who thinks raising a special needs child in
Toronto is a good idea…
/5
Divas Dodgeball:
Well, we featured a
pregnant woman earlier, so it's only natural we get our
ABORTION. You gotta know I’m talking about Diva’s
dodgeball! A.K.A.: the reason why RVD is passed out in
bowl of Fritos backstage and not actually wrestling on
the PPV. Although, in 30 minutes, he'll still insist he
did. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE~!
With that said, team
captain Carmella De(someethniclastnameIcan’tremember) is
surprisingly missing from her squad-- which stinks,
because if anyone knows about trying to avoid having
balls slap them in the face it’d definitely be a Playboy
model. They could have really used her out there! Or had
all had taudry group sex. I'm open either way.
Anyhoo, it was at
about at this point that I realized I’m recapping a
FUCKING DODGEBALL GAME and stop.
Bottom line is, the
Diva hopefuls actually wipe the floor with the “divas”,
as I laugh at the fact that Gail Kim even blows spots in
fucking Dodgeball. Haha, her hat fell off. This sucks.
I’m done.
That said, after the
game, Trish and Victoria finally get into it, and a FEUD
is actually birthed from a game of DODGEBALL! Much like
it was in the early turn of the century with
Hackenschmidt and Gotch. True story.
Winners: The Diva
Search girls. And I didn't even get to make my sexist
joke about the Five Double D's of dodgeball. But hey,
look , I just did. Ya. This match still needed more Rip
Torn and dodging wrenches, though, and less, well,
everything else.
/5
Undertaker vs. (C) JBL w/ Orlando Jordan ; WWE
Championship;
Ah, the battle
between two men best known for burying “stiffs”. With
Taker being dead bodies, and Bradshaw unfortunately
choosing to bury his in the tender asses of the rookie
WWE locker room. (HIS FINGERS SMELL LIKE BILLY SILVERMAN
AND DESPERATION!). But hey, all joking aside, I realize
he probably never went that far , but hey, once you soap
a dude's ass, you pretty much open the floodgates (ass
cheeks?) for these kinds of jokes FOREVER. Seriously.
Anyway, a very old
time feel to this one--and by that I mean 'original man
first crawling from the priomordial ooze'. That was the
pace. Seriously. I think I just saw wooly mammoths stop
existing.
That said, in this
match, the two actually work body parts…despite it
eventually having no bearing on the result of the match.
Some people might ask "then why do it?", but you know,
once you RECAP A FUCKING DODGEBALL GAME ON A WRESTLING
PAY-PER-VIEW, small things like this tend to lose their
meaning. Kind of like my life right now. And for the
record, I think Undertaker honestly needs to decide once
and for all if he is a “zombie” or an MMA fighter. I
mean, isn't he supposed to be a monster? When was the
last time you saw Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers
explode into a fucking triangle choke? ( And good luck
wielding an axe with those big assed gloves, too.).
Anyhoo, a very
boring match-- so much so, that the crowd would rather
do the wave then even watch. Clearly this means WWE has
chosen the right man to hold their (used to be) most
prestigious Title! I mean, he's self-made, obnoxious,
rich, and a bully. I wonder what Vince even sees in him!
Oh.
As for the match
itself, eventually, the ref gets bumped (which is the
law in WWE Title matches) allowing JBL's Chief of Staff,
Orlando Jordan-- the only rookie in wrestling
history to VOLUNTARILY agree to sit on JBL's
staff-- to get involved, *distracting* Undertaker
so JBL can then hit the Clothesline from Hell's Kitchen
on him. Jordan then physically forces the unconscious
ref to make the count. 1... 2... Come on. Really? You
know Taker still kicks out, because, you know, he's a
corpse and stuff and can't die or something! It's true,
and I don't even know why he even bothers to sell
anymore. I mean if being lit on fire, crushed, buried,
suffocated and god knows what else can't kill him, your
little colthesline's gotta a real shot this time! Keep
reachin' for that rainbow!
From there,
Undertaker ends up eventually rallying, and gets a
modified “Last Ride”... but Super Bradshaw still kicks
out. HAVING A BIT MORE MONEY has suddenly given him the
ability to not be pinned by people's lethal finishers?
Ok then. Taker then retrieves the title belt brought
into the ring by Orlando Jordan and stupidly hits JBL
with it to draw a DQ-- because God knows, when a match
is bombing this fucking bad, it's always best to give
the already infuriated fans a screwjob finish, too! What
the shit.
Winner by DQ: JBL.
Immediately after the match, to add to the Toronto's
screwjob, Vince prank calls Bret Hart and pretends to be
an still-alive Owen, HBK sneaks into the Hart house and
applies sharpshooters to all his relatives as Earl
Hebner rings a makeshift bell, and Shane McMahon runs
over Hulk Hogan with a limo as HHH rapes the corpse
while tearing off his shirt. All in a day's work, T.O...
/5
- Oh, ya, after the
match, Taker destroys JBL, throwing him through the
windshield of his limo before choke-slamming him through
on the roof altogether. I'll have to try that on a rich
guy sometime for shits and giggles. Well, if I can
convince him to jump with my with chokeslam. STOP
SANDBAGGING, YOU.
-Wrestlemania XXI
vignette. WRESTLEMANIA GOES HOLLYWOOD. Well, if by
"Hollywood" you mean fucking Jonathan Taylor Thomas,
Nick Turturro and Elvira. I guess "Wrestlemania Goes To
That Part Of The Video Store You Forgot Existed" doesn't
have the same ring. Go figure.
(C)Chris
Benoit w/ home country crowd support? vs. Randy Orton w/
a helluva lot of chinlocks; World Heavyweight Title
match;
Fun fact: This is
the first RAW World Title match without Trips to
main-event a PPV.
Funner Fact: There's
nothing we can ever do to change that.
Funnest Fact: This
and the previous facts are in no way fun. In fact,
they're completely fucking depressing.
The obvious premise
of this match was to make a “star” out of Orton much
like they did with Brock Lesnar. And it worked-- at
least on this night. I guess we should begin to worry
though if by this time next year, we catch Orton
clutching an NFL program to his chest, and asking Vince
what the market value of a plane is these days...
Anyway, the crowd
seemed kind of dead by this point, as even the
appearance of the Home Country boy-- who loved this
winter wonderland so much he packed up for Atlanta,
never to return-- didn't do much to sway them
unfortunately. Imagine that.
Great back in forth
match here, though, that really did a good job putting
Orton over as credible, while Benoit remained tenacious
like the noble fighting squirrel he is. Or Wolverine. Or
whatever. Does Atlanta even have Wolverines? White
people?
Anyway, from there, Benoit ended up
taking a couple of sick bumps in this one with the first
being a tope to the barricade, and 2nd being a diving
head-butt attempt face first into Randy’s boot. YOU'RE
DOING IT WRONG. Eventually, Benoit rallies, and looks to
have things wrapped up himself when he delivers more
Germans than a Hasselhoff concert, then applying the
crossface--but don't raise Benoit's arm yet!--and
not just because it's only 6 inches long and it'd be
awakward
-- because Orton is not done!
Somehow, he escapes the crossface, and once both are
vertical, they exchange several counters before Randy
suddenly spins Benoit into the RKO. 123. Over. And if
you listen close enough, you can actually hear Scott
Keith running a hot bath and rifling through his drawers
looking for a razor.
After the match,
Benoit returns to the ring and extends his hand. I think
he does anyway. It basically just looked like the
Hamburger Helper mitt growing out of his shoulder.
Benoit then demands that Randy shake it and "be a man!";
although, it could be that Benoit just really enjoyed
the rap-stylings of one Randy Savage. And who can blame
him? Those beats are dope. Or at least require copious
amounts of it to tolerate.
Anyway, long (long)
story short, Orton finally accepts; a show of respect is
seen, and Randy continues his celebration with the
obligatory tears of joy, celebrating the fact that he’s
now the fake youngest World Champion EVER!!! (It was
really Tommy Rich, but it’s probably best we forget
about that).
Winner: Randy Orton.
Loser: Any overweight teenage girl online who makes RKO
message board banners and thinks Randy would ever even
talk to them. Why is it that most semi-good looking
celebrities tend to have the ugliest fans? (It's mean,
but it's true.), you know, while the ugliest celebrities
seem to attract some of the best looking trim out there?
It's a MYSTERY..... Full of changes no one sees. God
makes a fool of history. I see the line in the sand,
time to find out who I am. OK, I'm just singing the
Evolution theme song now, and have completely segued out
of my previous useless statement. Whatever. But what the
hell, it is a catchy tune, so I feel little guilt.
EVOOOOOLLLLUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTION!
/5
End show.
Final Thoughts: Retards getting
sacrificed, hometown boys being run out of town on a
rail, wolverines euthanized, grim reapers assaulting
millionaires, strippers getting balls in the face, and
the crowning of a fake youngest champion ever. What more
could you want? A crowd that'd respect what they are
watching, instead of doing the fucking wave? A Recapper
who'd call the matches instead of just making jokes
because he was so stoned he can't remember one actual
hold on the show? Umm, probably. Good show, though...if
you watch it on mute. And for once, I'm not saying that
because of the commentary. Thumbs up.
I'm Sean.
Send
Feedback to Sean Carless
Sean Carless is a man of many hats.
And he wears those hats to cover an ever-increasing bald
spot. Sean's various scribblings have been read at Live
Audio Wrestling, 411 Mania, Honky Tonk Man.com, The
Toronto Star.com, and Lethal Wrestling. He has also
cured AIDS
WWE
