We'll BEND OVER
BACKWARDS to please our customers! Or
any other position you'd prefer. We're flexible!
(Hopefully, you are as well).
Keep your
"Faarooq" safe from disease with the
brand new APA Protection
Condoms! Guaranteed to protect
you from everything, but Bradshaw himself!
APA Condoms are made of from an impenetrable
synthetic material (much like the divas) and
are GUARANTEED to last as long as you do in
the showers when you cop an
"attitude".
Order now, and you''l get a
complimentary roll of DUCT TAPE, a Blindfold, and
fifteen feet of rope!
Bradshaw Testimonial:"Just because
you sexual assault rookies with no
caring for their physical and mental well-being,
doesn't mean you shouldn't be responsible about
it. Daggoneit. I mean, come on. That's just
plain common sense. You never know where
that disgusting Billy Silverman may have
been!"
Faarooq Testimonial:
"
DAMN!" (he then started
crying immediately after, blubbering something
about "I have so much more to offer...why won't
anyone ever
listen.)."
$5.99 per box.
Plus more to keep your indiscretions
quiet.
MARK HENRY'S "MAH STANK"
DEODORANT.
For those times
when you stink up more than the
ring!
He's Mark Henry,
He's the World's Strongest man... but now he
doesn't have to be! Go ahead and roll on some
Stank today and make a big splash with the
ladies! (literally, he only knows that, and maybe
a bearhug).
$ 4.99 or best
offer; Deodorant guaranteed to last maybe a
stretch of 3 to 4 months before
disintegrating. You know, much like Mark
Henry himself.
RODDY PIPER SILVERWARE
SET!
Stainless steel
and durable, and GUARANTEED to outlive the Hot Rod
himself!
Roddy Piper says :"The
spoons even heat up to like 350 degrees, no
problem! You gonna finish
that?"
Whether it be
copious amounts food consumed to keep up the
strange swollen pregnant-like torso you've given
birth to literally out of nowhere, or you just
have the SICKNESS and require a knife that can
easily cut through congealed rock cocaine, these
utensils are ideal for all situations! Even
cutting through COCONUTS, in the event you
wish to save a piece for later after
culturally humiliating a proud man from the
Islands!
Just
$29.99! And if you act now, Roddy will
even throw in a complimentary Skillet* for
those lonely nights on the
road.
*Crack sold
separately. <
/font>
* Not the hands of The Big
Show.
ROB VAN DAM FLOWER
POT!
Introducing from
the Rob Van Dam hydroponic collection, the brand
new Rob Van Dam Flower Pot! Because, who knows
more about pot then R-V-D?
RVD says: " Duuuuude,
just because you're like totally wasted,
doesn't mean your flowers have to be. Now, be a
bud, heh-heh, BUD
, and pass me those Cheetoes , would
ya..."
Act now, and Rob
will throw in a half-eaten tube of raw cookie
dough, completely FREE. $9.99 plus S &
H.
THE TRIPLE H
SHOVEL!
Introducing the first line of
HHH gardening instruments!It does the JOB so you don't
have to!
Each shovel
is forged from stainless steel and the
broken spirits of the mid-card, and can carry
up to 100 pounds of top soil in one scoop! Or just
enough to make sure Booker T is no longer credible
as a main eventer. Ahem.
So, if time
is an issue, as you've just literally flown into a
PPV to win the World Title despite not being on TV
for 2 months because you filmed Blade
Trinity, this is definitely the
all-purpose tool for you. And who knows more
about TOOLS then The Game? He did after all date a
woman of questionable gender for 3 years. The
choice is obvious! Unless that choice is umm,
"Maybe we need new blood in the main event". You
shouldn't listen to that. Trust
us.
Triple H Testimonial:
"People always ask me how
I bury so easily* and efficiently...well, now you
know!"
*Not related to
fucking the boss's daughter one iota.
Nope.
$100.00 plus S
& H;
Coming soon:
Triple H glass ceiling! Made
from unbreakable glass that's been
extensively pressure tested on Rob Van Dam,
Booker T & Chris Jericho! Quality guaranteed,
or no money back. (Because if someone else was on
top, dear god, can you imagine? We'd
probably go bankrupt!).
TRISH STRATUS KLEENEX
"TRISHUES"
Introducing the brand new
TRISH STRATUS BRAND BOX OF KLEENEX! Easy clean up,
for those hard to explain situations! And let's
face it, it's just about as close as your fat
ass will ever come to her
"box".
Trish Stratus says: "Just because I get Raw on
Monday Nights doesn't mean you should
too."
100 % Stratusfaction
guaranteed. Chafing
too. $3.99.
APA PROTECTION
CONDOMS.
