SEARCH THE WRESTLING FAN.COM                         THE FOLLOWING ARE OLDER UPDATES FROM OUR MAIN PAGE. TO RETURN THERE NOW, CLICK HERE.   Updated: (03/23/09) TWF ENTERTAINMENT RETRO-REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE! The film that gave more small children nightmares than any film I can remember. And that's just one reason to love it!  Ahem. Click HERE to read Sean's original insane review!   Updated: Drew Kannegiesser returns with WRITING UNDER THE INFLUENCE! (02/06/09). Click HERE to read!   Updated: THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY!: BEST OF BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: MARCH 2005! (03/02/09): Featuring Completely Random News; The ULTIMATE Triple H Collection; Wrestling With Time; Matt Hardy FECES The Truth; Worst Wrestlemania Matches EVER; Original Wrestlemania Hi-Jinks, And WWE Films Presents! All This, Plus Much More~! Click HERE to read this blast from the past!   Updated: With Wrestlemania 25 just about a month away, join Sean Carless as we look at his RETRO-RECAPITATION of WRESTLEMANIA 2! (02/26/09) A card so terrible, it had to forced on three separate cities just to lessen the blow! (blowing?). All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: SEAN CARLESS MOVIE REVIEW: FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009) (02/13/09) It's Friday the 13th, the best feel-good "overcoming-your disability" film since I Am Sam and Forrest Gump! Join Sean Carless, as he breaks down the only movie franchise where not only do teenagers keep camping on the same murder site, they keep showing up on the same exact day as all the past murders took place! What, can't wait an extra week to roast marshmallows, assholes? Holy shit.  Click HERE  to read Sean's full insane review!   Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the NO WAY OUT 2009 PPV RANT! (02/16/09) It's No Way Out! A night we *finally* get HHH into an elimination chamber; yet, not the kind that drops a little dissolving puck in a bucket. Can't win them all. On this night, Randy Orton plays Dr. Doom to Shane's Mr. Fantastic, HBK will have a few more dollars to put on the collection plate, WWE celebrates black history month by making the only black dude history, and Edge gets an all-new belt to hold up his pants.  Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: (02/09/09) SEAN CARLESS'S TWF PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY! In light of his "busy weekend" vs. the inbred fans of B.C, Chris Jericho to now star in a new WWE Films presentation! Click HERE to view!   Updated: THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY!: BEST OF BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: FEBRUARY 2005! (02/01/09): Featuring: Confessions Of A Wrestling Fan; Lex Luger Is Guilty...Of Being A Fucking Moron; Anvil In Trouble; Stone Cold = Dr. Evil? Me Getting Biblical; Vince Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On; Amy Weber Fucks Off; TNA Is Not OK; Motivation: TWF Style! And Buying Batista's Underwear...All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!   Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the ROYAL RUMBLE 2009 PPV RANT! (01/26/09) It's The Royal Rumble! Featuring perhaps the most shocking betrayal of a long time tag team partner EVER: JTG cheating Shad out of the Rumble in a game of slight of hand! Oh, and something about Matt Hardy murdering his own brother. Ahem. All this, plus Randy Orton has a Wrestlemania title shot in the bag! (among other things!) and John Cena survives with his title thanks to HBK kicking his millionaire boss in the face. Man. lot of that shit going around this week.  Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: JANUARY 2007~! (01/25/09) )In This Edition, Kurt Angle's Plunge Into Madness, Kenny Dykstra Turns Lesbian, Undertaker's Secret Days As A Member Of The Riverdale Gang, Fan Laws, FanGirls, Abyss Has Got A Gun, Motivational Posters For New ECW, And A Special In-Column Satire: WWE's Oscar Season Movies! All This, Plus Much More~!  Click HERE To Read!   Updated: RETRO RANT: ROYAL RUMBLE 2008 (01/16/09) Join Sean Carless for another half-capitated spectacle of stupidity! Superman Returns! Jeff Hardy is pinned by a Glass Ceiling! Chris Jericho puts JBL in bondage, and somewhere Billy Silverman is smiling! You know, before remembering he's still unemployed. Plus, Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka carry on their feud into the new millennium! No coconuts were harmed, but a bowl of prunes may have been consumed! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Sean's moronic rambling on all things RUMBLE.   Updated: THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: JANUARY 2005~! (01/12/09) )In This Edition, Sean Looked at WWE Divas In Playboy, Brock Lesnar's Return, More WWE ShopZone Buffoonery, And A Cameo By Canadian Bacon! Joanie Loves (To Kick The Shit Out Of ) X-Pacy! The Homicidal, Genoicidal, Suicidal Erik Watts, Or Maybe Just The Last Part, New Jack Stabs John Cena, And A Whole Lotta Wrestlers Doing Stupid Things. Plus Three New Additions To The Mullet Hall Of Fame! Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!   Updated: (01/06/09) SEAN CARLESS'S TWF PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY! We always knew John Cena was a hard worker, but holy shit, puns.  Click HERE to view!   Updated: TWF Presents: The 78th Annual Fanny Awards!  (01/04/09) It's our version of Wrestlemania! It's The Fannys! Internet wrestling's most tasteless and ridiculous Year-End Awards are back! 34+ HUGE categories and something's got to give! But mostly taste and good sense. Contained within, we crown a writer of the year for 2008 as voted by YOU, and of course look at all the best of the best and the worst of the worst in wrestling, with one ridiculous offensive joke after another! But be warned, this piece is a BEAST. So if you're on Dial-up you may want to pack a lunch, and bring a change of clothes! Click HERE to read the morbidly obese juggernaut that is the 2008 FANNY AWARDS!   Updated: (12/25/08) CLASSIC TWF CHRISTMAS POST: Join us as we once again look back to 2007 with Sean Carless's WWE NIGHT BEFORE CHHHRISTMAS POEM~! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the ARMAGEDDON 2008 PPV RANT! (12/15/08) It's Armageddon 2008! The only Pay-per-view where Mr. Kennedy can warn you not to do drugs whilst they simultaneously put the belt on Jeff Hardy. Oh, Irony. It's not just what Iron tastes like. Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: (12/12/08) BACK-LEG FRONTKICK PRESENTS: JOEY STYLES' PUNCH-OUT~! Just in time for the Christmas season! Drop it in your stocking...right after you drop a 300 pound Investment Banker!  It's Joey Styles Punch-out! -- The only thing more embarrassing than being knocked out by the Subway Guy! Click HERE to view the trailer!   Updated: THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: DECEMBER 2004! (12/07/08) YEAR-END 2004: In This Edition, Looking Back At The Year That Was; Featuring Old Favorites, Quotable Quotes, Highlights And Lowlights...And Of Course The Breakout Star of 2004 (Figuratively And Literally!), Gene Snitsky! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!   Updated: BRINGING HOME THE BACON! (11/28/08) The Raging Retard, Canadian Bacon has *finally* returned for your latest installment of Wrestling Newsiness! From Edge being captive on a Desert Island, to the *real* reasons for MVP and R-Truth's de-pushing, Bacon has all your bases covered with Grade-A Canadian Retardation. You'll never look at wrestling gossip the same way again! Click HERE to read THE BACON REPORT!   Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the SURVIVOR SERIES 2008 RANT! (11/24/08) It's Survivor Series! The night WWE traveled back to 2007 to restart their booking! Yay! Ahem. On this night, we found out that in Soviet Russia, terrible match has you, Jeff Hardy is found in a hotel room...and actually survives! (a WWE first!), there is apparently no shaving cream in "Hell", and Chris Jericho clearly must have forgotten to put a little piece of West Newbury around John Cena's neck, pre-match. All this, plus less stupid vague teasers! Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: (11/20/08) THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: NOVEMBER 2004: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! Sean Carless journeys back to the Fall of 2004 for another nostalgic look at wrestling in the month of November! Featuring: Goldberg Has Heat With Hef, Huge Firings, WWF sues WWE,What Really Happened To Vince, And The Return of BULLSHIT! Featuring Dave Gagnon & Harry Simon! TNA Invades WWE?, Carlito's "Conspiracy", Randy Savage Is Insane, The Week That Was, And More Snitsky Than You Can Shake A Stick At (Or A Coat Hanger). All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!   Updated: TWF MEDIA PAGE! (11/06/08) Introducing, an all-in-one page for our latest video satires and promotional Ads! This week, two new entries; A video featuring the best (worst?) of our insanely inappropriate T-Shirt photoshop thread, and the follow-up video Ad for the site featuring many of our most absurd animations! Click HERE to check them out!   Updated: (10/31/08) THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: OCTOBER 2004: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! Sean Carless journeys back to the Fall of 2004 for another nostalgic look at wrestling in the month of October! Featuring: No More Patterson Jokes?, RAW And SmackDown Diarrhea, HHH Travels Through Time! Terri Runnels For Sale! Dissecting Vince! A Look At Some New (acne-riddled) Faces! And The Rant Too Taboo For deadlines! All This Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read!   Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the CYBER SUNDAY 2008 RANT! (10/27/08) It's Cyber Sunday! The only PPV where they can make their lack of buyrate money back by having you pay through the nose to get the results they wanted anyway! It's not even about computers anymore! I guess, "Text Message Sunday" just didn't quite have the same ring. On this night, Batista finally discards the Konami Title code by walking out (after putting in his designated mile through a pit of danger) as champion! HHH replants Jeff Hardy in some newer fresher soil, Undertaker and Big Show somehow make 10 seconds feel like ten hours and Kane battles Rey Mysterio: NO HOLDS BARRED. The following match contained no scenes of the human wrecking machine, Zeus. Maybe next time.  Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: RECAPITATION: HULK HOGAN'S CELEBRITY CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING~! (10/24/08) Ten Celebrities all vie for the honor and prestige of being named first ever CCW CHAMPION. A belt, that sooner or later will end up around Hulk's waist, just because! That's how these things usually work.  So, join me, Sean Carless, as I broke down the very first episode and give analysis as only I can (can't?), and walk you through the celebs first day on the job. Drop a leg out there guys! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Anthony Dean returns with the NO MERCY 2008 RANT! (10/06/08) It's No Mercy, the PPV that shows you no remorse. Usually as it pertains to your bank account. I mean, holy shit, what has it been 3 fucking weeks since the last one? In any event, on this night it's all about the World Title plight of both members of DX. One triumphs in his quest while the other does not. But which one? The one that has this opportunity only because he exploited his old Lady taking a good shot in the mouth? Or the other one who FITS THAT EXACT SAME DESCRIPTION.  Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: (09/25/08) THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: SEPTEMBER 2005: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! Journey back to the Fall of 2005 for another nostalgic look at wrestling in the month of September!  We Look At Vince Screwing Bret Screwing Sunny, New Identities For Muhammad Hassan, Raven Quote's The Torah Never More, Wrestling's Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, Wrestling's WORST Theme Songs, And Revised Motivational Posters! All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE To Read this blast from the past!   Updated: Sean Carless takes his turn this month with the return of TWF SOUR 25! (09/23/08) Obviously spoofing WWE's "Power25", TWF Sour 25 ranks the Top 25 (Bottom 25?) wrestling offenders, blunderers, idiots or the just plain misfortunate of the week in classic TWF style. Just who clocked in at number one this week, and why? Click HERE to read this month's edition!   Updated: (09/14/08) THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: SEPTEMBER 2003: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! Journey back to the Fall of 2003 for three nostalgic looks at WWE in the month of September! A time, unlike today, where the wrestling landscape was much different! You know, a time when HHH had a stranglehold on a World Title, Undertaker was a focal point of every Smackdown and PPVs weren't really worth ordering. Hey wait!  Click HERE, HERE & HERE To Read These TWF Blasts From The Past!   Updated: Anthony Dean presents the UNFORGIVEN 2008 RANT! (09/08/08) It's Unforgiven, the PPV that won't accept your apology like no matter what, and the only place where one fake kick to the head can put you out for the night, but being beat to death by a deranged Pentecostal Christian just warms you up to win a World Title! Plus, speaking of World Titles, Matt Hardy wins a questionable version, and HHH somehow strangely ups his tally to 13 despite just successfully defending his own. cough*4 more to go~!*cough. All this, plus much more! Kind of! Click HERE to read!   Updated: (08/27/08) THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY: AUGUST 2004: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! Featuring , A Woman Beats Austin For Once, Warrior Ramblings, Sable Released Into Captivity, Viking Brock Lesnar Thrown Over-Board, Divas Search Fallout, The Kane/Lita Wedding Album & A Rabid Road Warrior Animal Attacking Random People On Video... This Fall of Fox! All This Plus Much (MUCH) More!  Click HERE To Read This TWF Blast From The Past!   Updated: Anthony Dean presents the SUMMERSLAM 2008 RANT! (08/17/08) It's Summer Slam! A night where Edge ends up in a large burning hole! Luckily a certain previous squeeze prepared him for this moment! Plus, HHH wrestles a broomstick in pajama pants, Batista defeats a mortal John Cena, and HBK turned the other cheek...so Chris Jericho could knock his old lady the fuck out. How nice. All this, plus sixty seconds of Mark Henry! Click HERE to read!   Updated: (07/28/08) THIS WEEK IN TWF HISTORY: JULY 2004: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! Featuring 1/1000 of Bret Hart Seeks Revenge on Vince McMahon, Paul Bearer Is Trapped In a Glass Case Of Emotion, Mordecai Raptured To The Unemployment Line, O'Haire's Telling The Police Something They Don't Already Know, Ric Flair Pisses Off Foley AND Bret Hart, Then Travels The Known Universe! Wrestling's Most Celebrated Mustaches And Mullets! And Joanie Laurer Debunks Myths of Her Gender By Hosting a Transsexual Pageant! You Go, Umm, Questionable Girl! All This, Plus So Much More! Click HERE To Read This TWF Blast From the Past!   Updated: Catherine Perez presents the GREAT AMERICAN BASH RANT 2008! (07/21/08) It's official, the Not So Great American Bash should be upgraded to at least Good American Bash, as this year's version actually managed to be tolerable! It's a new summer-time tradition! Of not sucking! On this night, CM punk got by Batista by the skin of Pepsi stained teeth! Shawn Michaels can at least find comfort in the fact that Jesus already set a precedent of healing blind people! Michelle McCool finds that letting Undertaker umm, "bury a stiff" pays off in GOLD, as Edge finds out the hard way that he clearly seduced the wrong fat woman in a position of power in this company! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Matthew Folger returns with KNIFE-EDGE POPS! (07/11/08) This week's edition: "WWE COPS". Click HERE to read!   Updated: Special Non-Wrestling Feature: RETRO- REVIEW: BLOODSPORT~! (07/08/08) Join Sean Carless as heI travels back to 1988 to look at Jean-Claude Van Damme's cinematic masterpiece: BLOODSPORT! Academy Award nominee in the category of throwin' wheel kicks in slow motion, baby! It's Frank Dux's real-life story of competing in the Kumite! The only tournament where after surviving death and grievous injury, one man earns a sword and a plane ticket back to obscurity! Sweet deal. Click HERE to read Sean's full insane review!   Updated: Catherine Perez presents the NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS 2008 PPV RANT! (06/30/08) It's night of Champions...and as we stand, Kofi Kingston is your top ranking champion on RAW. Plus, Mark Henry brings an all new "extreme" to ECW: PANIC. Quick, somebody put a belt on this guy before he gets any funny ideas! All this, plus it's a good night be a champion on Smackdown who fucked a fat woman in power to get to the top! Ahem. Click HERE to read the Rant!   Updated: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: THE RAW DIARIES~!: SEAN CARLESS'S INSANE 3 WEEK LOOK AT MILLION DOLLAR MANIA. (06/24/08) For three weeks, our fearless leader has kept detailed notes on the "rousing success" that was RAW & Million Dollar Mania. You know, the only game show on TV where you're guaranteed to see the host crushed by giant electronic equipment. But tread lightly, my friends, for unbridled insanity awaits you! You may never be the same again. Click HERE to read Sean's ridiculous "notes"!     Updated: (06/22/08) THIS MONTH IN TWF HISTORY!: JUNE 2006: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK:  SUMMER OF SEAN! Featuring: TWF True Death Valley Story: Kane! Plus, RAW Thoughts, "Whatever Happened To", And Much More! This Column Is Brought To You By God, Jesus And Mr. McMahon! Discretion Is Advised. Some Scenes Contain Stuff. Click HERE To Read!   Updated: TWF FORUM PHOTOSHOP THREAD! (06/20/08) This week's theme: Wrestling T-Shirts! Add your insane brainchild to our growing list of stupidity and offensiveness! It doesn't matter if you're a Photoshop Wizard, or a MS Paint Novice, add your contribution HERE! Updated: GUEST COLUMN: HORNSWOGGLE'S FATHER'S DAY GIFT! In lieu of WWE.com's stupid Hornswoggle Father's day card (5 year olds don't have fucking beards!) Guest Columnist Andariel Halo provides an alternate video tribute to his fake dad, Finlay with DRUNKEN IRISH DAD! Click HERE to see!   Updated: THE NEW TWF FORUM~! (06/16/08) Join the merry misfits and social deviants of TWF at our *all new* Message Forum, complete with new categories, caption contests, Naked Wimminz, tastelessness and more! Join today! Accounts, once registered require an Admin to activate your account, so be patient! You'll be spreading your brand of evil soon enough! Click HERE to join! And Click HERE for Forum FAQ's! Join now! You won't regret it! (yes you will).   Updated: Derek Burgan returns with a PPV REVIEW of ROH's TAKE NO PRISONERS. (06/05/08) It's ROH's latest foray into PPV, and one of these days they'll break 10 buys! Just kidding! Join Derek as he gives us the full breakdown of a pretty spectacular card and find what BJ Whitmer and Poochie have in common! Click HERE to reaad! Updated: Joe Merrick presents the ONE NIGHT STAND 2008 PPV RANT! (06/02/08) It's One Night Stand number 4, or whether WWE wants to admit it or not, a fucking committed relationship! On this night, Undertaker's legacy ends! Gone-Gone-Plata? *sniffle*, JBL channels his best impression of Indiana Jones (the part where he swaps a bag of rocks for a booby-trapped jar of Vaseline must have been edited off your version), plus, Singapore Canes, no ECW Champion, Kane's, fake stretcher jobs, real stretcher jobs, and all in all a great PPV that like 4 people ordered. Click HERE to read the Rant!   Updated: Justin Shapiro returns with more RETRO HEAT! (05/30/08) Before ECW was WWE's most worthless television property, there was another prison for unused midcarders: SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT. Join Justin as he looks back at his original recaps as they happened. In this edition: Heat GM Steven Richards has apparently decided to switch to a 75% squash match format and Nelson Frazier may be Vince McMahon's fat, illegitimate son! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Catherine Perez presents the JUDGMENT DAY 2008 PPV RANT! (05/19/08) It's Judgment Day, the day where God once again refuses to end the world despite the false threat of a Mark Henry vs. Big Show pay-per-view match! (Turns out HE IS merciful!). On this night,  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS! It's true, but hey, you already spent your 40 dollars so, umm, fuck you? Sounds about right. On this night, Undertaker goes for the World Title! HHH meets Randy Orton! HBK battles Chris Jericho! Super Cena battles Zod err, a Wrestling God! Let's make this best 2004 ever! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: TWF ENTERTAINMENT (05/16/08) With  all the success of the Iron Man movie at the Box Office, Studios are looking to adapt fellow Avenger team-mate Captain America to the Big Screen. You know who they have pegged to play the role? No? Well, it'd be coooooler if ya did! Join Sean Carless for a brief (and stupid) look at the very latest on Caps adaptation to the big screen! Click HERE to read GUESS WHO'S CAPTAIN AMERICA!   Updated: BLFK: WRESTLING IN A NUTSHELL: THE MEXICOOLS! (05/02/08) Sean Carless debuts a new feature here at TWF, packed full of INSANFORMATION. "Wrestling in a Nutshell" is just that, a quick & dirty look at a past wrestler or angle that you may have forgotten, or maybe never wanted to remember again! This week's topic: THE MEXICOOLS. Vince McMahon had already parodied and racially-stereotyped every race, color and creed before, so how why not some wrestling gardeners? I mean, clearly that's the only occupation in Mexico, right? Click HERE to read!   Updated: Anthony Dean, in an effort to bail us out, presents the PPV RANT: BACKLASH 2008! (05/01/08) It's Backlash! Wrestlemania's retarded little brother, that may look and act a lot like big brother, but at the end of the day he's stupid and weak and no one likes him. On this night, we now have 3 WORLD Champions with a combined age of over 120! Yay to the youth movement! Plus, OMG V1 takes MVP's U.S title ASAP, Edge finds out the hard way that Michelle McCool is the only person on earth allowed in the 69 position with Undertaker without dying, and HHH does what he does best, bury Randy Orton up to his fucking jarhead. Now if only he'll further follow his natural biological inclinations and bury that belt, too. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read, plus the latest info on our quest to hire a new PPV Recapper!   Updated: VAULT FLASHBACK: MACHO MADNESS! (04/10/08): Before he went completely insane, Macho Man Randy Savage used to be just kind of insane. It's 1988. It was all about Macho Madness. There was nothing Macho couldn't do. Bar make sense. And avoid a certain gigantic orange plague rolling in. This is Coliseum Video's official release, with a retrospective of the first half of Macho Man's WWF title reign. All his great wars are documented! Honky Tonk Man! Ted DiBiase! Ted DiBiase! Ted DiBiase! Ted Dibiase! And who could forget Ted Dibiase! (He fought him a few times...). Click HERE to read Sean's full Video review!   Updated: BACK-LEG FRONTKICK FLASHBACK! (04/09/08) To commemorate TWF's perversely huge 5th Year Anniversary, let us go back 5 years for a random look at Sean Carless's October 2003 edition, and see how much the Wrestling world has changed! HHH and Undertaker are World Title mainstays! John Cena is showing up everywhere on TV! Chris Benoit is umm, buried. It's completely and totally different than anything today! Ahem. Plus, Sean's original coverage of the HHH/Stephanie wedding as it happened and more! Click HERE to read this piece of TWF nostalgia!   Updated: TWF SAYS GOODBYE: (04/05/08) With all the outpouring of genuine emotion for the last match of a true WWE legend, we here at TWF do OUR part, and pay video tribute to the man who's WWE career is now seemingly over. Click HERE to watch our emotional video tribute.   Updated: James Walker returns with the let's just pretend it's not a few days later WRESTLEMANIA 24 RANT~! (04/02/08) It's Wrestlemania! Where memories are indelibly etched into..something. I forgot what it was again. So much for being indelible. On this night, The Showcase of the Immortals actually showcases immortals, as Undertaker and Kane walk out with World Titles err, a World Title and one worthless shiny gold hot potato! Plus, Batista commandeers a Samoan Bulldozer to dig a new pit of danger, Snoop Dogg undoes 2 years of Maria's straight-edge living with one kiss, John Cena overcomes the odds of never doing jobs, and HBK euthanizes your beloved pets with karate kicks! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: TWF RADIO returns! (04/01/08) Recorded last Sunday night after Wrestlemania, It's Episode 4: A NEW HOPELESSNESS~! Featuring, Sean Carless, a shitty 2 dollar Radio Shack mic, a chemically-induced laid back disposition, and Full Wrestlemania 24 coverage! From Super Cena's new Kryptonite, to HBK taking Old Yeller behind the barn and kicking him into Euthanasia, to God secretly being a member of the IWC, Sean has all your Rasslemania bases covered! Plus, Ric Flair-inspired drops and congratulatory, umm, congratulations to TWF for 5 full Years of Tastelessness! Click HERE to access the live streaming link!   Updated: Special Non-Wrestling Feature: Sean Carless's "GETTING TO KNOW YOUR JOES: A Look At The Upcoming Live-Action Film, And An Educational Introduction Into A Phenomenon Greater Than You Or Anything You Could Ever Accomplish." (03/28/08) There's a live-action adaptation of G.I. JOE brewing,  just ignore the part where none of the soldiers in question are old enough to legitimately join the Military! Join me, Sean Carless, as I break down some of the news and rumors of this film, and question why half these Joe's would be better off fucking body surfing on the O.C, (JOE.C.?).  From there, I then take you back to the 80's and break down some of the most forgettable/terrible GI JOE figures ever! It's a huge clusterfuck of a crash course in all things Joe! Click HERE to check it out!   Updated: Sean Carless returns with a *brand new* SATIRE: TNA STRAIGHT TO DVD RENTALS~!: (03/22/08) Because, WWE isn't the only company capable of producing completely shitty movies starring wrestlers! From Jay Lethal breaking the spirit of women by keeping them locked away (Hey, just like the real Randy Savage!) to Curry Man on a murderous rampage throughout South Texas, Sean has all your bases covered and more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Derek Burgan returns with this week's WRESTLING ENJOYMENT INDEX! (03/17/08) The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana. Just how did this past week's event effect the WEI scale? Click HERE to find out!   Updated: THE VAULT with Sean Carless is now updated with a BRAND NEW Recapitation:! WRESTLEMANIA 2! (03/14/08) We're on to the Road To Wrestlemania, so why not take a quick roadside piss break and journey back to Wrestlemania 2! A card so terrible, it had to forced on three separate cities just to lessen the blow! And a night, where if the family of the dude in Nick Hogan's car has their way again, sees HULK HOGAN BEHIND BARS. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: Derek Burgan returns with a *brand new* GIMMICK TABLE! (03/14/08)  This week's spotlight: NEW T-SHIRTS FROM TNA! Click HERE to read!   Updated: BLFK: BROKEN NEWZ. (03/07/08) Last August, I posted a quick teaser of a "Breaking Newz" I had written as it pertained to the then death of Brian Adams. I forgot to upload the full version, and just discovered recently that this was the case. So, ya, here's the full intended version. Relevance and timing be damned! Click HERE to read Sean Carless' s BREAKING NEWZ: FUNNY BUSINESS IN THE DEATH OF CRUSH!   Updated: RETRO RANT: WRESTLEMANIA XX! (03/05/08) Where it all began again...for about six months anyway; then it pretty much went back to the exact same company as before! But whatever. It was a night to behold! Vanilla midgets had their revenge! Aryan Supermen battled hulking Jews while the whole thing is overseen by an angry redneck! A deadman returns from the great beyond and looks ready to hit a Honky tonk bar! It's CRAZY. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: RETRO RANT: WRESTLEMANIA 19! (02/27/08) With just about one month before this year's Grand Daddy Of Them All, Join Sean Carless for his original Rant of Wrestlemania 19! On this night, Triple H sets race relations back a hundred years! Brock Lesnar debuts his vaunted Shooting star face-plant! Stone Cold & Rock make the only good third sequel in history! HBK turns the other cheek, while refusing to put his shoulders down! And Hulkamania meets Egomania, in a battle twenty years in the not really giving a shit about! All this, plus so much more! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: James Walker returns with the let's just pretend it's not almost a week later NO WAY OUT 2008 RANT~! (02/22/08) It's No Way Out! Featuring the Elimination Chamber that there's no way out of! Well, if you ignore Undertaker accidentally falling through the cage completely exposing the gimmick. Other than that, no one got out! Well, Ok they did get out, but you what? Fuck this PPV name. On this night, the only thing there was definitely no way out of was realizing that you just paid another 45 dollars for like the 4th Randy Orton Pay-per-view disqualification in the last 6 months. But hey, at least both HHH and Undertaker are going to Wrestlemania! Man, it's about time WWE gave these two the chance to be prominently featured at the Big Dance! Ahem. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: (02/21/08) TWF's "WWE TAGLINE POLL" has been updated! That's right, I've added several new submissions of my own to our parody of WWE's actual (terrible) tagline survey, in addition to adding my personal favorite reader submissions as well. Click HERE to see the "poll"!   Updated:  THE VAULT with Sean Carless is now updated! (02/20/08) We’re on the Road to Wrestlemania, but first, Sean once again takes an off road piss break as he journeys back some 23 years to where it all began: WRESTLEMANIA 1! It's 1985, and long before Vince had visions of paying useless strippers 250 K for sitting in pies, or nearly bankrupting the company with bush-league football, he had a dream: WRESTLEMANIA! An event SO huge, it could only be carried on Hulk Hogan’s Barn Door Back, Bruther.  Click HERE to read Sean’s Recapitation!   Updated: RETRO RANT DOUBLE HEADER: NO WAY OUT! (02/15/08) First up, James Walker's original recap of NO WAY OUT 2006! It was a night of angry deadmen as Taker is pissed, and Eddie is shaking his head from above saying "No wonder I turned on this fucking guy so many times". It was the feelgood pay-per-view of the season!...Well, unless you're name was Rey Mysterio. Click HERE to read!   Then check out Sean Carless's original look at last year's event with NO WAY OUT 2007! The last-big money grab before the Grand Daddy Of Them All! On this night, The Road To Wrestlemania began, but there were several casualties along the way, and one trip to a known homosexual rest-stop! Ok, there wasn't, but I just wanted to use that segue. In any event, it was a night where Animals betrayed their Masters! An Asian redneck and a Mexican worked in unison to stop the 13 month rampage of a Hurricane! London & Kendrick channeled AJAX and cut through Grease! And Bobby Lashley provided your fill of Extreme!... if the 'Extreme' you were after was disappointment! All this, plus more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: Sean Carless returns with a *brand new* VIDEO SATIRE: THE HAUNTING 2: OWEN A LIVING! (02/09/08) News outlets have picked up the story that OWEN HART is apparently haunting Kemper Arena, so I just *had* to hammer bad taste home and create a truly absurd parody, right? Right? (This is the part where you agree with me.). The following is a VIDEO PARODY, but reads like a standard TWF satire. It's done so in video format to allow for the truly huge animation files contained within, and for music. Click HERE to watch/read~!   Updated: RETRO RANT! (02/08/08) With just about a week before this year's event, let us now take a look back to Sean Carless' original Rant of NO WAY OUT 2005! Featuring the debut of the dreaded CARNIVORE that was the Barb-wire steel cage! It once survived on berries and shrubs alone, but now it has a taste for men! (Just like Kanyon). Join Sean as he passes out on the side of the Road To Wrestlemania, and decide for yourself whether it was truly No Way Out, or "Which way out?!" Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: WWE.COM PARODY: WWE CELEBRATES BLACK HISTORY MONTH! (02/02/08) The following section on WWE.com was just created. And well, Wow. So with WWE obviously not seeing that a few of these stereotyped characters aren't exactly something that should be celebrated, we here at TWF just had to parody it, right? RIGHT? (This is the part where you agree with us). Click HERE to see TWF's parody.   Updated: RETRO RANT! (02/01/08) With just a few weeks before this year's event, let us now take a look back to Sean Carless' original Rant of NO WAY OUT 2004! A night, that much like this great country, was built upon the back of hardworking Mexicans! All culminating with Eddie Guerrero battling Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title! It's "Here comes the Pain"  versus "There goes the painkillers", and something has to give! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: HALFCAPITATION: ROYAL RUMBLE 2008: QUICK AND DIRTY! (01/29/08) Before you get a detailed full Recap, join Sean Carless for his inebriated spectacle of stupidity! Superman Returns! Jeff Hardy is pinned by a Glass Ceiling! Chris Jericho puts JBL in bondage! And somewhere Billy Silverman is smiling! You know, before remembering he's still unemployed. Plus, Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka carry on their feud into the new millennium! No coconuts were harmed, but a bowl of prunes may have been consumed! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Sean's moronic rambling on all things RUMBLE.   Updated: RETRO RANT: ROYAL RUMBLE 2007! (01/24/08) With just about a few days remaing until this year's Rumble, let us look back at Sean Carless's original look at 2007's! It's the Royal Rumble! The 2nd most important pay-per-view of the year's scheduled 3000! And Sean has all your results and buffoonery. Kelly Kelly handles your balls! Test puts the 'Extreme' back in extremely shitty finish! Another Kennedy is killed in Texas!  The Bulldozer runs out of gas! Batista's still on the gas! And The Rumble goes to one of the most popular deadman in Texas! (Not the Von Erichs). All this, plus much more!  Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: THE VAULT returns with an *all new* edition, as Sean Carless tackles WWE 24/7's look at BLACK SATURDAY! (01/21/08) Join Sean as he looks back to July 14, 1984 and the *first-time* Vince McMahon and his horrible houndstooth jacket invaded World Championship Wrestling! Are you ready for some kick ass action and incredible wrestling? Well, you better try elsewhere, bub, unless you're really into ten minute bear-hugs!  All this, plus much more bear-hugs! Click HERE to read Sean's review~!   Updated: (01/16/08) Sean Carless returns with a very special one time only ECW ON SCI-FI  RANT: ECW: WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY, YOU CAN CREATE HEAT. Click HERE to read Sean's unbridled ridiculousness~!   Updated: RETRO RANT: ROYAL RUMBLE 2006! (01/12/08) With just about a couple of weeks remaing until this year's Rumble, let us look back at Sean Carless's original look at 2006's! It's the RUMBLUS 2006: Where It All Begins... Again!? That's right. If you're a John Cena fan, this was definitely your night; but if you're not, you're probably still picking shards of TV glass out of your fist right now! Plus, Rey Mysterio proves really big things can happen to really little people, while Kurt Angle versus Mark Henry proves that really bad matches can happen to really great champions. All in all, you'll feel like hurling yourself over the ropes after this Rant! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: BLFK SPECIAL FEATURE: PYRO & BALLYHOO~!: A Proper Gentleman's Guide To TN Of A. (01/10/08) By now, most of us are familiar with the TNA Impact script leaked onto the internet, and the subsequent hilarious coining in said script of the expression "PYRO & BALLYHOO". Join guest TNA Recapper, Rupert Cuthbertson-Smythe, who much like the expression ballyhoo, comes to us straight from the 1800's, for his very special one-time only recap of last Thursday's Impact! Click HERE to read TNA Ye Olde English-style~!   Updated: RETRO RANT: ROYAL RUMBLE 2005! (01/09/08) With just a few weeks until this year's Rumble, let us look back at Sean Carless's original look at 2005's!  The Road to Wrestlemania 21 begins, and this time it's man who becomes road kill at the hands of an animal! Plus, Heidenreich ends up in a casket, but not in the manner in which we'd prefer! JBL proclaims his divinity! HHH does Darwin proud, and Vince loses his mind...and his legs! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: TWF Presents: The 5th Annual Fanny Awards!  (01/03/08) It's our version of Wrestlemania! It's The Fannys! Internet wrestling's most tasteless and ridiculous Year-End Awards are back! 34 HUGE categories and something's got to give! But mostly taste and good sense. Contained within, we crown a writer of the year for 2007 as voted by YOU, and of course look at all the best of the best and the worst of the worst in wrestling, with one ridiculous offensive joke after another! But be warned, this piece is a BEAST. So if you're on Dial-up you may want to pack a lunch, and bring a change of clothes! Click HERE to read the morbidly obese juggernaut that is the 2007 FANNY AWARDS!   Updated: RETRO RANT! With just a few weeks before this year's event, let us now take a look back to Sean's original Rant of ROYAL RUMBLE 2004! (12/31/07) The Vanilla midget finally stands tall! Well, as tall as you can stand at 5'8". Plus, "family issues" are resolved the good old fashion way! With flying headscissors and planchas! HHH and HBK face the conundrum of what happens when two entities consisting of not wanting to do jobs come into contact with one another, and Brock Lesnar faces the toughest test of his career! ...Trying not to laugh at the plight of Bob Holly. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: (12/25/07) Sean Carless returns with a Special Holiday Satire: THE NIGHT BEFORE CHHHRISTMAS~! Click HERE to read!   Updated: TWF READER GIFTS~! (12/24-25/07) As inspired from WWE 24/7, the TWF Staff Present Their Favorite Columns and Features for YOU the Readers of The Wrestling Fan! (Good luck exchanging it for something of value though..) Click HERE to see some of the TWF Staff's "Gifts"!   Updated: Catherine Perez returns with the WWE ARMAGEDDON 2007 RANT! (12/17/07) It's Armageddon...for what, the 8th time? Although, this could be the *real deal* this time because HHH DID A CLEAN JOB, ON PAY-PER-VIEW. I think that's in the Bible. One more seal to go! Plus, Edge enables the Konami cheat code to take the World title for himself..and himself and himself! You think you know, umm, them? And in honor of Armageddon, The Savior is here, but gets stopped in his tracks by GOD himself! He then said let there be pointless main event disqualifications. And there was. And it was... disappointing? Definitely. All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Catherine's full Rant!   Updated: RETRO RANT DOUBLE-HEADER! (12/16/07) With just hours away from this year's event, let us take a look back to the last two Armageddon's! First, in  2005, with Sean Carless' Recapitation of ARMAGEDDON 2005! Undertaker and Randy Orton go to Hell! Tim White goes to Heaven! The Mexicools stay in limbo! What more could you want? (a decent show, maybe?) All this, Plus much more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   And then join Joe Merrick with last year's edition: ARMAGEDDON 2006! It's Armageddon! And although the Earth was spared yet again, unfortunately your wallet was not! Featuring: Two World Champions in the ring, AT THE SAME TIME! It's a first! Well, if you ignore Survivor Series. And umm, Cyber Sunday. But still! A skin-headed white man lights a black man on fire in the deep south and no one's offended! WWE pretty much guarantees you'll never let your children sit on Santa's lap again! Joey Mercury is all dressed up with no face to go! And Undertaker and Ken Kennedy remake a heartwarming classic: Driving Miss Daisy Mister Kennedy! All this plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO RANT: ARMAGEDDON 2004! (12/13/07) With just a few days before this year's event, let us take a look back to 2004 with Sean Carless' original look at Armageddon 2004!  It's Armageddon! And as foretold in the Bible, Jesus has returned! Only this time he's wielding a cookie-sheet instead of a flaming sword! Who knew? Plus, in the spirit of Cheech & Chong, Mexicans and marijuana combine to make Dupree & Kenzo's title reign go up in smoke! And despite the implications of Armageddon, the World and the World Title reign of JBL survive the night. Go figure. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: Sean Carless returns with an *ALL NEW* BACK-LEG FRONTKICK! (12/08/07) Obscenely Huge Year End edition! Featuring The Death Superman! The Death Of A Guy Who Never Existed! People We Wished Never Existed! The Rise And Fall, and Fall And Fall Of ECW! The Return Of Conan The Midcard Destroyer! The Plight Of Made In The USA, err, ICU Lex Luger! Y2J Saves Us From Everything But North Carolina Apathy! Vince McMahon Blows Up, Stitches Himself Back Together, Then Apparently Puts Wile E. Coyote In Charge of Creative! Plus, Bonus Items For The Xmas Season, And Mick Foley Starring In "I AM HARDCORE LEGEND". All This, Plus Much More! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Catherine Perez presents the SURVIVOR SERIES 2007 PPV RANT! (11/19/07) It's Survivor Series, ten years removed from the infamous screwjob, and HBK finally does the job! Somewhere, Bret Hart is smiling. Although, that could just be an involuntary muscle spasm. Strokes will do that to a guy. Plus, HHH buries the hatchet, and everyone one else, bar Jeff Hardy, and Undertaker and Batista go to Hell! No Animals were harmed in the making of this match! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Catherine's review, plus a few insane Sean Carless comments and pictures as well!   Updated: With just a few days before this year's Event, we take a look back to last year's with James Walker's SURVIVOR SERIES 2006 RANT! (11/16/07) A night where Legends are born, and people do jobs when they're leaving the company... whether they want to or not! Featuring: Team Rated RKO against Team umm, X? (DX, the three X's of CM Punk, an EX-drug addict, and a dude obsessed with his EX.). Plus, it's 200 years of wrestling experience vs. 200 consecutive losses to Triple H and Shawn Michaels when Ric Flair's legends meet The Spirit Squad! Two proud African Americans stand tall when John Cena and Bobby Lashley trump Team Big Show! Lita leaves the business the same way she first gained access to it: flat on her back! And Batista changes his name to Bastille for one night to annihilate the kingdom of Booker T! All this, plus much more. Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO RANT: SURVIVOR SERIES 2004! (11/12/07) With just one week until this year's event, join Sean Carless as we look back to his original Rant of Survivor Series 2004! Germans and Jews reconcile their differences to stop the Grim reaper! John Cena returns from the dead, and Jesus is at the forefront! plus, Booker T prays for a sixth finger, and Randy Orton bursts the bubble of the most inflated team in Survivor Series history! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated! James Walker makes TWF return with an *all new" WHITE VANS AND CANDY~! Kind of! (11/08/07) In this edition, White Vans and Candy presents: James' Drunken State Of Wrestling Address! Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO RANT: SURVIVOR SERIES 2003! (11/05/07) With just a few weeks until this year's event, join Sean Carless as we look back to his original Rant of Survivor Series 2003! It's the Survivor Series! Now with one less McMahon! And as a result, Bret Hart hates this pay-per-view a little less. Featuring: Brock Lesnar learning that you can lead a Hoss to water, but you can't make them win. Wait, that's not how that goes. Plus, Vince McMahon buries The Undertaker, and Goldberg surprisingly avoids the same fate at the hands of HHH! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: DONE! (10/31/07) The Sixth Child returns with another edition of "Done!": A look at the world of wrestling through the eyes of a film buff! This week's parody: "DAZED AND CONFUSED" Starring multiple WWE Superstars! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Sean Carless returns with the WWE CYBER SUNDAY 2007 RECAPITATION! (10/29/07) It's Cyber Sunday! The PPV that only sounds like a late night online encounter with an alleged woman. But at least, during that, there's a chance you might actually get what you want. Ahem. On this night, we, the FANS had our voices heard! Unless that voice was saying "We want Jericho". They didn't hear that. Oh well.  But what we did get was HBK shaking off 3000 chinlocks to win his match against Randy Orton...by disqualification. Because let's face it, clean finishes on paid shows are silly. Triple H took it to the streets in his underwear! And an Animal survived its trip to the Pet Cemetery! Sean has all your coverage and insane observations as only a night of copious alcoholic self-abuse can provide! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: RETRO RANT: CYBER SUNDAY 2006! (10/25/07) With just a few days until this year's event, join James Walker as we look back to 2006 and Cyber Sunday! Usually the combination of "cyber" and half naked dudes in their underwear is enough to send anyone running for the hills, but WWE manages to make it work (kind of). It's a night where the fans voices are finally heard! It's just too bad what they're saying isn't all that interesting! On this night, Dusty Rhodes gets the shaft in favor of Roddy Piper; but the Hot Rod pays tribute to the Dream by wrestling in his body! Plus, Jeff Hardy is back on the blow!...as in spots that is!  Randy Orton & Edge dig their way out of their hole long enough to upset DX! And manufactured poser K-Fed returns to destroy one of his very own people when he costs John Cena his chance to be the champion of champions... and start a potentially bloody west coast-east coast farm country turf war! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO RANT: TABOO TUESDAY 2005! (10/22/07) With just under one week until this year's event, join Sean Carless as we look back to 2005 and the 2nd ever Taboo Tuesday! Featuring, one man definitely not Big Show or Kane joining Kurt Angle and John Cena in the main event, HHH battling Ric Flair in a SURPRISE "non-predetermined" match decided by YOU the fans (umm, don't let that huge pre-assembled cage hanging above the ring influence you!) ) and Batista steps in for Steve Austin who had to move a love seat, to wrestle a career worst match against Goldust, the Coach, and an extremely obese Vader, who just earlier had three choices of his own to make: Just what huge meal would he consume, pre-match? (it was a three-way tie!) All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the Recapitation!   Updated: RETRO RANT: TABOO TUESDAY 2004! (10/17/07) With just under two weeks until this year's event, join Sean Carless as we look back to 2004 and the original Taboo Tuesday! A HISTORIC night where, FINALLY, YOU got to have your voice heard! It's just too bad what you end up "saying" was what we've pretty much been seeing for 2 years anyway! Damn you for opening your big mouth! Featuring: For the first time in history, the father of the baby is aborted! HHH and 3/4's of Shawn Michaels wage war! Chris Benoit helps two Quebecers separate... from their tag titles! And Ric Flair gets a (legend) killer behind bars! Click HERE to read the Recapitation as it happened that night!   Updated:  Sean Carless takes his turn this month with the TWF SOUR 25! (10/12/07) Obviously spoofing WWE's "Power25", TWF Sour 25 ranks the Top 25 (Bottom 25?) wrestling offenders, blunderers, idiots or the just plain misfortunate of the week in classic TWF style. Just who clocked in at number one this week, and why? Click HERE to read this month's edition!   Updated: Retro Review: G.I. Joe The Movie! (10/11/07) Sean Carless breaks out the nostalgia time machine for a ridiculous look at 1987's cult classic: G.I. Joe The Movie! Click HERE to read!   Updated:  (10/08/07) Before Anvil's full detailed PPV Report, join Sean Carless for the quick and dirty results with his NO MERCY 2007 RAMBLINGS~!  Click HERE to read Sean's ridiculous take!   Updated: "FAN LAWS"! (10/05/07) The Fan Laws, patterned after Miller Lite's "Man Laws" are a collection of wrestling clichés, rules and observations one finds only in the wonderful world of pro wrestling! Click HERE to read the latest entries by YOU in this ongoing project! Newest entries start on Page 2!   Updated:  Sean Carless returns this week with a special look at RAW from his deranged perspective with RAW RECAPPING FOR DUMMIES~! (10/02/07). After you've read Cameron's legit report, by all means check out Sean's one-time only review for a dose of unbridled ridiculousness! Triple H does a job to the guy who passes him the salt every Sunday night at dinner! Cody Rhodes is fed to the Rookie Monster! And Randy Orton finds Super Cena's Kryptonite! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read Sean's insane RAW ramblings!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (07/30/07) With just a week before this year's event, we take a look back to James Walker's original recap of NO MERCY 2006! It's the return of WWE's most merciless pay-per-view, particularly for the eyes and stomach on this evening. Featuring match # 3568 in the ongoing "Best of Eternity" series between Matt Hardy and Gregory Helms! A Kennedy ends up in the possession of an Undertaker, and this time Oliver Stone doesn't give a shit! Plus, two big debuts including the first ever pay-per-view appearances of both MVP and... the naked penis of William Regal! Dear Lord! And if that isn't enough, we have evil monarchs,  soft-spoken giants, talking animals and leprechauns running amok on top! Is this a ppv main event, or the world's shittiest Disney movie? You decide! Click HERE to read!   Updated: BREAKING NEWZ~!: SUPER SECRET WRESTLEMANIA 24 DREAMCARD LEAKED!  (09/21/07) Join Professional Truth-Teller Sean Carless as he reveals the huge Wrestlemania card Vince McMahon doesn't want you to know about! Mostly because it's a lie! Ahem. Click HERE for all the latest details!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (09/21/07) With a few weeks before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of NO MERCY 2003! One week before her wedding, a Father gives away the bride... forever... by choking the life out of her. If only all weddings cost this little. Plus, a Wolverine gets on the tracks and causes an A-Train to derail! Zach Gowen gets a leg up on Matt Hardy, Eddie Guerrero goes from the fire into the frying pan hands, and Undertaker battles Brock Lesnar in the "first ever" Biker chain match. And last. Thank God. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: Anvil's Swagbag presents the WWE UNFORGIVEN 2007 RANT! (09/17/07) After getting a Title shot for every mile he's walked through a pit of danger, Batista finally gets his belt back! Well it IS Sunday. He did say he was taking it back. Maybe we should have believed him all 30 other times he mentioned it. Plus, The Deadman returns for a dead crowd, and by virtue of a DQ, John Cena guarantees more chinlocks in our future! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: Sean Carless fills in for the vacant TNA Recap position this week with the one-time-only TNA IMPACT RECAPITATION! (09/14/07) Join Sean as he tackles Russoland for the first time in over a year, and marvel as he slips dangerously into an alcohol induced coma as a result. (seriously.). Click HERE to read Sean's full insane Recapitation!     Updated: RETRO-RANT! (09/07/07) With just a couple of weeks before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of UNFORGIVEN 2003! It's Unforgiven! The show that holds grudges. And then presents grudge matches that you don't want to see! I mean, JR & King vs. Coach & Al Snow? Dear lord. Plus, Shane battles Kane as the rain falls mainly on the plain, and HHH loses a quick ten pounds for his upcoming wedding! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: Joe Merrick returns with an *all-new* LOW BLOW! (08/31/07) In this return edition, Joe presents "THE TOP TEN EXCERPTS FROM WRESTLING DOCUMENTARIES THAT WOULD BE AWESOME IF THEY ACTUALLY HAPPENED". Click HERE to read!   Updated: Sean Carless returns with the TWF HELL. (08/30/07) Where stupid and completely tasteless ideas go when they die! Join Sean as he takes you through some previous discarded ideas for satires and parodies that often bring new meaning to the term "inappropriate". But be warned, most content contained within is Not Work Safe so enter at your own discretion! (Page also contains many .gif animations, so dial-up beware!). Click HERE to go to Hell!   Updated: Anvil's Swagbag presents the WWE SUMMER SLAM 2007 RANT! (08/27/07) It's Summer Slam. The Biggest Party of the Summer! And in this case, it's akin to "the party" where you leave bitter, unfulfilled and have to masturbate in your bathroom when you get home because no one loves you. Ok, maybe just the first two parts. In any event, join current TWF PPV recapmeister Anvil as he breaks down all the happenings of Summerslam! And by "happenings" let's just pretend something actually happened on this fucking show! Yup. All this, plus big returns! Rey Mysterio! Triple H! Triple H's long-lost abs! It's all here! Click HERE to read!   Updated: Saturday Night's Main Event Rant! (08/20/07) WWE returns to Network TV once again with Saturday Night's Main Event!... and Mr. McMahon would really appreciate it if you didn't flip the channel over to fucking Cops again like the other 3 times it aired. Besides, WWE does shirtless rednecks running amok WAY BETTER than Cops ever could. Trust us. In any event, join legitimate assholes Joe Merrick & Anvil as they cover the possible revelation of illegitimate McMahon children along with all other SNME goodness! Click HERE to read! Updated: RETRO-RANT! (08/18/07) With just a week before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of SUMMERSLAM 2005! It's the "Biggest Party of the Summer"! Funny, my invitation must have been lost in the mail. It's a night built entirely around a match that for all intents and purposes looked like a Hair Club ad for "Before" and "Way Before!" Plus, angry atrophied Olympians looked to murder the mentally handicapped! Animals overthrew God! And Adultery is settled the old fashioned way: WITH BODYSLAMS! Click HERE to read Sean's insane Recapitation!   Updated: WWE.COM PARODY: (08/10/07) Sean Carless returns with BREAKING NEWZ out of Stamford! Linda McMahon has gone HAYWIRE and murdered several WWE superstars! Click HERE for all the details on this incredibly fake and untrue story!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (08/06/07) With just a few weeks before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of SUMMER SLAM 2004!  Retards get sacrificed! Hometown boys get run out of town on a rail! Wolverines euthanized! Grim Reapers assault millionaires! Strippers get balls in the face! And the crowning of a fake youngest champion ever! What more could you want?  A crowd that'd respect what they are watching, instead of doing the fucking wave? Umm, probably. Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (07/30/07) With less than a month before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of SUMMER SLAM 2003! It's Summer-time! And the living is easy. Pity you won't feel the same way after this fucking show is done. Featuring: The only Jew on earth insisting he get locked in something called an "elimination chamber"! And Kurt Angle taking on "the real" Brock Lesnar! The robot clone he normally uses is in the shop getting repaired, apparently. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: Derek Burgan's GIMMICK TABLE returns with a special (UNCENSORED) double feature! (07/27/07) First up, WWE Public Relations Merchandise right HERE.  And from there, a *brand-new* edition with WWE's "GET JUICED" Campaign!, right HERE! Check them both out as they are exclusive uncensored versions not seen at Wrestlecrap, because, well, we have no scruples!   Updated: Anvil's Swagbag presents the WWE GREAT AMERICAN BASH 2007 RANT! (07/23/07) It's the return of a WWE Summer Time Tradition!: That being a completely throw away Pay-per-view! Ahem. Featuring The Great Khali, The Mediocre Kane & the Terrible Batista battling in invisible quicksand! Plus, John Morrison shows CM Punk the DOOR (HIYO), Vanilla midgets get the shaft for ACTUAL midgets, and John Cena and Bobby Lashley finally decide just whom would be the ideal dude to take gambling in Vegas! All this plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: TWF ENTERTAINMENT is now updated! (07/20/07)  Sean Carless presents a *brand new* Retro-Review of the *original* TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE! The film that gave more small children nightmares than any film I can remember. And that's just one reason to love it!  Ahem. Click HERE to read Sean's full insane review!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! GREAT AMERICAN BASH 2006! (07/16/07) Just one week before this year's Event, James Walker takes us back to to last year's! Tonight's PPV is brought to you by fully functioning livers! It's The Great American Bash! OK, the “great” part is debatable, but it was a Bash, by Gawd. Featuring: Great Khali receiving a ‘get out of (Punjabi) jail free’ card and Big Show doing "his time" for him! The British and the Irish settle their hundred years old differences with a lost shoe and a midget! Unlike 1962, Kennedy is unable to stop the bomb this time! And Booker T. had better grow a 6th finger in time for SmackDown or he'll have to come up with a new catchphrase! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read.   Updated: Sean Carless once again takes his turn with the TWF SOUR 25! (07/12/07) Obviously spoofing WWE's "Power25", TWF Sour 25 ranks the Top 25 (Bottom 25?) wrestling offenders, blunderers, idiots or the just plain misfortunate of the week in classic TWF style. Just who clocked in at number one this week, and why? Click HERE to read this month's edition!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! GREAT AMERICAN BASH 2005! (07/09/07) The Not-So-Great American Bash. A night where Undertaker single-handedly won the war on terror, Animal found new love, and a Wrestling God punished us heathens for our sins... by subjecting us to one of the worst main event matches ever! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: NEW FEATURE: TWF CAPTIONS! (07/06/07) TWF Staff and readers caption ridiculous candid WWE photos! Click HERE to read.   Updated: James Walker returns with a classic edition of White Vans & Candy! (07/05/07) In this edition, James reviews the film that Goldberg gave up a contract renewal with WWE to finish filming (seriously) SANTA'S SLAY. Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (06/29/07) With just a few weeks before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of GREAT AMERICAN BASH 2004! It's the birth of America's newest summertime tradition! Well, so long as your idea of traditions include suffocating your best friend in cement after just saving him from a convoluted kidnapping plot! Plus a Dusty finish in a world title match? Holy shit, this really IS The Great American Bash after all! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated!: Cameron Burge returns with a PARODY: "WHO KILLED MR. MCMAHON?" (06/28/07) The angle might be *officially* over, but the mystery has yet to be solved...until now! (the checks in the mail Mr. Groening!) Click HERE to read!   Updated: Joe Merrick begrudgingly comes out of retirement to present the WWE VENGEANCE 2007 RANT! (06/25/07) It's WWE Vengeance! But who are they seeking revenge against per se? Well, if the results of this show are to considered, then it's clearly the IWC! It was a Night of Champions! Just not the people you want to see with the belts! Cena overcomes the odds of everyone hoping he'll finally lose his fucking title! Johnny Nitro continues the trend of "anyone but regular ECW Talent" winning the World title! Edge and Batista battle for the last time two times, and in case you missed it, someone actually killed Vince McMahon. Ya, it was news to me too. Join Joe as he tackles the show as only he can. With tasteless offensive humor! All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: "The Vault" with British Bullfrog is now updated! (06/23/07) In this edition, Bullfrog looks at UK only release "WWF WILD IN THE U.K.!" It's the apex of the Attitude era. It was simpler time. A time when Stephanie McMahon was still hot, HHH was underused, and The Rock was actually wrestling instead of just coaching emotionally unstable children to Football glory or pretending to be half-Crustacean half Egyptian warlord. What a glorious time to be alive!  Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (06/18/07) With under a week before this year's event, we take a look back to James Walker's original recap of VENGEANCE 2006! It's a night where Vince McMahon has Vengeance on his mind, and what better place to start then attacking blatant common sense! Featuring, John Cena & RAW Sunday Night Heat taking down ECW! Johnny Nitro and Melina taking their “punishment” like champs! And in a crowd filled with women vowing to bare their breasts, we get Hunter’s bare ass to appease…somebody? After all,  Male ass draw Ratings!...in Prison! All kidding aside, a very good show took place featuring title changes, holy shit moments and more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (06/15/07) With just about a week before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of VENGEANCE 2004! Triple H battles Chris Benoit, and a retard holds the fate of the world in his hands! Hey, maybe he should run for president! Plus, an Animal murders a Lion-tamer! Edge puts a legend killer to justice! And Matt Hardy gets a measure of revenge against the monster who secretly impregnated his girlfriend, the only way he knows how!: with a flurry of wrestling offense! Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: BLFK BREAKING NEWZ~! (06/12/07) If you saw RAW, you'll know that Vince was whacked! Join Sean Carless as he blows the lid off of the ALTERNATE ENDING for Vince's apparent DEATH, not-at-all stolen from another controversial Television moment, that didn't happen on Sunday night. Not even. Click HERE for this breaking story!   Updated: RETRO-RANT! (06/11/07) With just about two weeks before this year's event, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of VENGEANCE 2003! Eddie Guerrero becomes the champion of USA for you, esse! Sable battles Stephanie McMahon in wrestling's first ever No holds used match, Big Show, Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar engage in a three way, and the War Amps officially stop asking Vince McMahon for donations. Imagine that. Click HERE to read Sean's Recapitation!   Updated: Sean Carless returns with the (better-late-than-never) WWE ONE NIGHT STAND 2007 RANT! (06/08/07) After two memorable consecutive One Night Stands, WWE delivers the kind you blame fully on alcohol and never ever admit to enjoying! It's One Night Stand 2007! And Dr. Vince has surgically removed 95% of ECW  in favor of Great Khali & Mark Henry! EC-DUBle cross! On this night, John Cena makes Great Khali his own personal Pun-jobber! Edge enters an Animal cage and lives to tell the tale! Dominatrix Bobby Lashley enters into a S&M relationship with Vince McMahon! (well, maybe just the S part) and women wrestle in  EXTREME pudding! What more could you want? ECW? No soup for you. All this, plus much more!  Click HERE to read Sean's full insane Recapitation!   Updated: Canadian Bacon returns with the Saturday Night's Main Event Rant! (06/03/07) Join TWF's resident moron as he breaks down all the happenings of Saturday Night's Main Event as only he can! Featuring, Dead midgets! The Military succumbing to the might of Giants! Strippers being abused by diminutive little hands! And a match featuring a lot of guys who probably won't even have jobs this time next year! What more could you want? A break from almost 7 straight days of wrestling? *Ahem* Click HERE to read Bacon's SNME Réport! Updated: Derek Burgan returns with the GIMMICK TABLE! with TNA Straight to DVD Movies! (05/28/07) With the recent Steve Austin film The Condemned bombing in a spectacular way, WWE Films is starting to reevaluate their business model in the film business. Sick of always being the second banana, TNA has decided to jump head-first into the lucrative straight to DVD market. These were their offerings. Click HERE to read! Updated:  RETRO-RANT! With just one week (yes, seriously) until the next WWE PPV offering, we take a look back to James Walker's coverage of ECW ONE NIGHT STAND 2006! (05/25/76) It was a historic night for the Alliance ECW, as the Superstars "wrestlers" of ECW returned for a second one night stand ... or a "relationship" as the broads like to think.  From Human suplex machines to Human chinlock machines, James had all your Extreme bases covered. It's just a shame it all turned to shit like a week later. Oh well. Click HERE to read the full report!   Updated: Joe Merrick begrudgingly comes out of retirement to present the WWE JUDGMENT DAY 2007 RANT! (05/20/07) Join Joe, who gets back at us for the real short-notice by presenting the MOST OFFENSIVE PPV RECAP IN HISTORY! It was Judgment Day, and rather than just, I don't know, "end the world" as according to scripture, God just figured a 10 minute Great Khali match would do the same damage. Good thinking. Plus, HBK tunes up the band, only unfortunately the song being played is "Tell me a lie", MVP hunts the endangered toothless wolverine, and Bobby Lashley and Vince McMahon provide us with all the EXTREME we'll ever need. Unfortunately, those "extremes" are "Boredom", "disappointment" and "waste of money", but hey what can you do? All this, plus much more! Click HERE to read!   Updated: The RETURN edition of "Bringing Home The Bacon" is now updated! (05/20/07) This week, Canadian Bacon FINALLY makes his long-awaited return with an all-new "Bacon Réport!: News For People Who Wants To Know Stuff!" Join the moronic Baconman as he tackles all the recent wrestling "news" as only he can! From Vince McMahon's secret giant slave trade, to a cover-up involving Ariel's "death", the real story behind Carlito's "Nuclear heat", and WWE's *SHOCKING* punishment for Randy Orton's bad behavior! All this plus answering your questions ...Kinda! Click HERE to read the infamous BACON RÉPORT! Updated: Sean Carless returns with the WWE BACKLASH 2007 RANT! (04/30/07) It's Backlash, the pay-per-view that leaves a bad taste in God's mouth! A night where the WWE Championship is contested by six-degrees of Marines! A Fake Marine! A Disgraced Marine! A guy who got his ass kicked by nine at once! And a guy... who lived a few miles from Marineland? Close enough. Plus, Bobby Lashley is no longer the (child-like) face of ECW! Undertaker and Batista wrestle to a dead (HIYO) heat! Cade & Murdoch generate no heat! Sean has all your bases covered and more in one of the biggest most jam packed Rants EVER! Click HERE to read Sean's full insane Recapitation! Updated:  The Anvil's Swagbag returns with THE DUNGEON. (04/27/07) In this edition, TWF's Smackdown Virtuoso Anvil takes us into the seedy underbelly of a shadowy wrestling fraternity who hired him to eradicate *certain* IWC targets. Yes. Seriously. Click here to read! Updated: RETRO-RANT! (04/21/07) With just about one week before this year's Backlash, we take a look back to Sean Carless's original recap of BACKLASH 2006!  It's Backlash! A night of Holy miracles and holy shit moments! A night where God took a powder, The King of Kings jobbed for your sins, and psychiatrists alike were baffled as to how we can hear the inner most thoughts of tormented seven foot demons! Just what did WWE have in store for us? Who walked out as Champions, and who just plain didn't walk out at all?  Click HERE to read the Recapitation! Updated: TWF GUEST COLUMNS is now updated! (04/16/07) This week, two new editions, featuring TWF reader Duel's satire "WWE Monopoly" right HERE! Plus, a brand new DVD parody by TCS wrestling "WWE 2008 DVD Line Up" right HERE! Updated: Joe Merrick returns with an *all-new* LOW BLOW! (04/09/07) In this return edition, Joe presents GENERIC NEWS. Come on, where else are you going to see The Undertaker starring in his own reality series, "Big Dog The Bounty Hunter"? Click here to check it all out! Updated: James Walker makes his TWF return with the WRESTLEMANIA 23 RANT! (04/02/07) It's WRESTLEMANIA! And despite what Saliva says, our ears and our eyes are not bleeding! And good thing, because that's probably Ebola. In any event, it's the 23rd Grand Daddy of them all! Featuring Mr. Kennedy becoming Mr. Money in the Bank...Bank! Undertaker buries an Animal in the Pet Cemetery! A Samoan savage is ironically done in by a spear! Vince McMahon loses his hair and his mind! Steve Austin becomes Rosie O'Donnell's favorite wrestler ever! And HBK is still batting zero against Marines. (although, there was only one this time!) All this, plus so much more!  Click HERE to read! Updated: BLFK BREAKING NEWZ~! (04/01/07) As you get ready for Wrestlemania, paragon of journalistic integrity Sean Carless blows the lid off last night's SUPER-SECRET WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTIONS that you had to not see to not believe! Savage! Steamboat! Warrior! All were secretly honored! Click HERE for this breaking story! Updated: BLFK SPOTLIGHT: (03/30/07) Just in case you missed Sean Carless' Guest appearance at Wrestlecrap last week, here's an archived look at his one-time-only fill-in GIMMICK TABLE. Featuring WWE International! A ridiculous look at WWE's possible global expansion. Where else can you see WWE trying to book events in the former communist Soviet Union? Click HERE to check it out! Updated: BLFK BREAKING NEWZ~! (03/25/07) TNA's Abyss goes on a savage killing spree at the behest of his mother! 2/3rds of the TNA locker room murdered! Join paragon of journalistic integrity Sean Carless as he blows the lid off this story with SHOCKING INFORMATION that you will not believe! Because it's all made up! But, hey, whatever! Click HERE for this breaking story! Updated!: TWF ENTERTAINMENT! Remy  makes his TWFreturn this week with WHY TELEVISION SUCKS. (03/23/07) In lieu of TV being a completely barren wasteland of bullshit lately, Evil Canadian Mastermind Remy FINALLY provides us with an ALTERNATIVE! That's right, some brand-spankin' new potential programming to spice up the forthcoming TV season! Click HERE to read all about it! Updated:  Sean Carless once again takes his turn with the TWF SOUR 25! (03/21/07) Obviously spoofing WWE's "Power25", TWF Sour 25 ranks the Top 25 (Bottom 25?) wrestling offenders, blunderers, idiots or the just plain misfortunate of the week in classic TWF style. Just who clocked in at number one this week, and why? Click here to read this week's edition! Updated: RECAPITATIONS! (03/19/07) The Ultimate Collection of EVERY Sean Carless PPV Rant, spanning the entire 4 year history of TWF can now be found on one easy to access page! Be sure to read Sean's very special intro where he finally comes clean on the truth behind *certain* jokes; or just scroll down said page and choose from the 40+ Teasers to pick your Rant of choice! Click HERE to access the page! Updated: TWF GUEST COLUMNS is now updated! (03/12/07) This week, courtesy of TCSwrestling, comes a hilarious satire of WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2007! Just what needed to be added to the video game to make it more like what we see every Monday & Friday night? Click here to find out! Updated: Derek Burgan returns with an all-new DVD review: WrestleMania 3 Championship Edition! (03/09/07) WWE has released an all new retrospective of the biggest Wrestlemania of 'em all, including never before seen interviews and bonus features! Join Derek as he fills you in on all the details! Discretion is advised: No scenes contain Iron Sheik humbling Brian Blair (although they do wrestle) and Andre doesn't die two days after Hogan slammed him. Just thought we'd throw that out there. Click HERE to read the review! Updated: BLFK BREAKING NEWZ~! (03/03/07) Hulk Hogan attends the funeral of Anna Nicole Smith!...but why was he REALLY there? (bruther). Join paragon of journalistic integrity Sean Carless as he blows the lid off  this story with SHOCKING INFORMATION that you will not believe! (And if you do, dear god, man.) Click HERE for this breaking story! Updated: "The Vault" with Sean Carless is now updated! (02/25/07) We’re on the Road to Wrestlemania, but first, Sean takes an off road piss break as he journeys back some 22 years to where it all began: Wrestlemania 1! It's 1985, and long before Vince had visions of paying useless strippers 250 K for sitting in pies, or nearly bankrupting the company with bush-league football, he had a dream: WRESTLEMANIA! An event SO huge, it could only be carried on Hulk Hogan’s Barn Door Back, Bruther.  Click Here to read Sean’s Recapitation! Updated: "FAN LAWS"! (02/23/07) The Fan Laws, patterned after Miller Lite's "Man Laws" are a collection of wrestling clichés, rules and observations one finds only in the wonderful world of pro wrestling! Click HERE to read the latest entries by YOU in this ongoing project! Updated: Sean Carless returns with the WWE NO WAY OUT 2007 RANT! (02/19/07) It's No Way Out! The last-big money grab before the Grand Daddy Of Them All! On this night, The Road To Wrestlemania began, but there were several casualties along the way, and one trip to a known homosexual rest-stop! Ok, there wasn't, but I just wanted to use that segue. In any event, it was a night where Animals betrayed their Masters! An Asian redneck and a Mexican worked in unison to stop the 13 month rampage of a Hurricane! London & Kendrick channeled AJAX and cut through Grease! And Bobby Lashley provided your fill of Extreme!... if the 'Extreme' you were after was disappointment! All this, plus more! Click HERE to read Sean's full insane Recapitation! Updated: (02/14/07) Sean Carless has a very special Valentine's Day Message for everyone HERE! UPDATED! RETRO-RANT!: NO WAY OUT 2006. (02/13/07) Just days from this year's event, James Walker looks back at last year's extravaganza! It was a night of angry deadmen, as Taker is pissed, and Eddie Guerrero is shaking his head from above saying "No wonder I turned on this fucking guy so many times!" It was indeed the feelgood pay-per-view of the season!...well, unless you're name is Rey Mysterio. Click here to read! Updated: Derek Burgan returns with a new DVD review: Andre The Giant. (02/08/07) While axing wrestlers to make room for an influx of *really talented* Diva hopefuls, WWE decided to also save some coin by just re-mastering a 22 year old video onto DVD. The end result? A surprisingly enjoyable re-telling of the famous Giant's WWE glory years. From getting his dignity raped (Or a haircut to us non-7 footers) to bodyslamming John Studd for 15,000 dollars and 5 pounds of confetti, join Derek for the full rundown of this blast from the past. Click HERE to read the review! Updated: "The Vault" with Harry Simon is now updated! (02/05/07) This week, we once again go back to Yesteryear for a look at Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake! The man known for "Struttin' & Cuttin'! (Hair that is, and not cocaine. That'd be 17 years later.) Join Harry as he looks at this classic Coliseum video release on Brother Bruti, AKA the only thing clung to the ass of the Hulkster more often than yellow spandex. Click HERE to read! Updated: Derek Burgan returns with two classic reviews! (02/02/07) There are two constants in life.  Death and taxes. Well, the third is the Insanity of The Ultimate Warrior. And the following two reviews will show you why! First, Derek takes a look at the comic that spawned it all, right HERE. If that's not enough, Derek takes us back to arguably the most controversial WWE DVD ever, The Self-Destruction Of The Ultimate Warrior! right HERE. It's a Destrucity double bill!  And you can read them both by clicking the above links. "Evil homosexual liberal Mexicans" not included.  Updated: "The Vault" with Harry Simon is now updated! (02/01/07) The good news: Sean Mooney finally takes four years worth of hints and leaves Earth!  The bad news: He took a Coliseum Video camera crew with him for a god-awful Star Trek spoof.  With such a premise, can even dream matches like Ric Flair vs. Bret Hart, and Flair vs. Shawn Michaels make "Invasion '92" worth the while?  There's only one way to find out, and that's by reading Harry's take on it by clicking HERE. Updated: The Sean Carless double header continues with his  WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2007 RANT! (01/29/07) It's the Royal Rumble! The 2nd most important pay-per-view of the year's scheduled 3000! And Sean has all your results and buffoonery. Kelly Kelly handles your balls!Test puts the 'Extreme' back in extremely shitty finish! Another Kennedy is killed in Texas!  The Bulldozer runs out of gas! Batista's still on the gas! And The Rumble goes to one of the most popular deadman in Texas! (Not the Von Erichs). All this, plus much more!  Click here to read! Updated:  Sean Carless's Back-Leg Frontkick is finally Updated! (01/29/07) Insane Stream Of Consciousness Buffoonery Is Back...For One Day Anyway! FEATURING: Kurt Angle's Plunge Into Madness, Kenny Dykstra Turns Lesbian, Undertaker's Secret Days As A Member Of The Riverdale Gang, Fan Laws, Fangirls, Abyss Has Got A Gun!, Motivational Posters For New ECW, And A Special In-Column Satire: WWE's OSCAR SEASON MOVIES! All This, Plus Much More! Click here To Read The Ridiculousness! Updated: Derek Burgan returns with a classic CHEAP POPS! (01/26/07) Do you suffer from the debilitating calamity known as Hulkamania? Dr. Burgan checks in with all the warning signs of possible infection! Click HERE to read this hilarious parody! Updated: James Walker returns with a CLASSIC edition of  WHITE VANS AND CANDY (01/25/07) This week,  WHITE VANS AND CANDY PRESENTS: HHH'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY! Click here to read! Updated: Sean Carless returns with an *All New* SATIRE as he presents: WWE ACQUIRES THE HISTORY CHANNEL! (01/19/07) For years, people have asked, "What would happen if Vince McMahon could dictate recorded world history?" OK. No one ever said that. But it doesn't mean that we can't pretend, right? Join Sean as he looks at how Vince McMahon would spin history if it were indeed for sale. From Bryan Clarke ending World conflicts to Triple H conquering most of Europe, to Divas being burned at the stake, Sean has all your bases covered and then some. Click HERE to read this ridiculous satire! Updated: James Walker is back with the WWE NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION 2007 RANT! (01/08/07) It's New Year's Revolution! And normally WWE would ring in the new year by dropping the ball...on everything. Fortunately though, WWE came through with a pretty decent pay-per-view. Although, I'm sure Triple H's quad doesn't agree (Quick, someone wake up Bono! He's got a song to write!) Also featured: Johnny Nitro and Jeff Hardy settle their score the only way two dudes who violently despise one another can: By running away from each other!? Ric Flair looks to kill Kenny, but honestly looks more like he should be working on the Flux capacitor! Victoria battles Mickie James in the battle of former insane fake lesbians (Not including Anne Heche) and Operation Enduring Tedious Push goes into full force as The Marines invade Samoa... and prevail! If only more wars were settled with thumbs, fat asses and school boy roll ups, we might actually cut this deficit in half! That's right. All this plus much more! Click here to read! Updated: "The Vault" with Harry Simon is now updated! (01/05/07) In this edition, Harry tackles the 1994 Coliseum release: INSIDE THE WWF. From Bret Hart surviving a nuclear explosion, to Randy Savage guaranteeing he won't be invited to a Children's birthday party anytime soon, to Yokozuna in a steel cage (Not Rosie O'Donnell, despite what Vince might say...) Harry has all your bases covered. It's the best and the worst of an era when WWE was just treading water, stubbornly insisting on continuing what was obviously an outdated style. Good thing they don't do that anymore. Oh. Click HERE to read! Updated: SPECIAL RETRO-SATIRE! (01/04/07) With Saddam Hussein being executed just days ago, Sean Carless takes us back 3 years ago to his expose of the Amazing True ULTIMATE~! story of the fall of Saddam with "OPERATION WARRIOR!". In a time of need, the U.S. government knew there was only one man who could be counted on to turn the tide of the Gulf War. That man was Ultimate Warrior. And he did it all wearing only Speedoes. WARRIAH! Click here to read! Updated: Harry Simon returns with a CLASSICSHMAZZ! (01/01/07) One year before he turned to the retard darkside, Eugene was found overdosed on pills in his dressing room (doesn't he know that could cause brain damage! Oh.).  From there, things looked bleak for the Special one, but soon a beacon of hope emerged from the most unlikeliest of places: 1980's cartoons~! Yes sir. With help from everyone from GI Joe to Captain Planet, Eugene was able to turn his life around. Or at least go back to exclusively eating gluesticks instead of crumbling somas into a glass of Scotch. Join Harry for this hilarious time warp of 1980's nostalgia and ridiculousness and more, as he presents "A Very SPECIAL Clustershmazz!" Click HERE to read! Updated: Derek Burgan returns with a *brand new* CURTAIN JERKERS! (12/26/06) Just in time for Christmas, Derek presents "CHRISTMAS APOCALYPTO!" as Goldberg and the "Evil Brotherhood of non-Christian religions" kidnap Santa~! Click HERE to read this hilarious parody! Updated:  TWF Presents: The 4th Annual Fanny Awards!  (12/24/06) It's our version of Wrestlemania! It's The Fannys! Internet wrestling's most tasteless and ridiculous Year-End Awards are back! 34 HUGE categories and something's got to give! Contained within, we crown a writer of the year for 2006 as voted by YOU, and of course look at all the best of the best and the worst of the worst in wrestling, with one ridiculous offensive joke after another! But be warned, this piece is a BEAST. So if you're on Dial-up you may want to pack a lunch, and bring a change of clothes! Click here to read the morbidly obese juggernaut that is the 2006 FANNY AWARDS! Updated: SPECIAL RETRO-SATIRE! (12/22/06) Originally posted one year ago, and in light of the Holidays, we once again take a look back at James Walker's hilarious "A WWE CHRISTMAS CAROL." The twisted and greedy Vince McMahon is given a 2nd chance for redemption when he is haunted by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. Will the cold-hearted Vinny Mac have a change of heart? Ah, who are we kidding? Click here to read! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with an *All New* SATIRE as he presents: TWELVE DAYS OF WWE CHRISTMAS! (12/15/06) WWE took so much from us this year (mainly our money, but hey, what's rent and food compared to the hilarious boyish antics of DX~!) so it's only fair we take a look at what they actually GAVE us. In any event, this is is TWF's first ever full video Satire, so Click here to watch as Sean butchers a christmas classic, TWF-style. (and does it all ass-backwards in honor of the WWE.) Updated:  Harry Simon returns with a ClassicSHMAZZ! (12/11/06) Join Harry for his RECAPITATION of ECW's better days with ECW Gangsta's Paradise! As much as ECW hardcores "really appreciate" Vince McMahon's vision of an EXTREME promotion built around body contests, school teachers and soft spoken roid-heads, there was actually a time when Paul E. was allowed to have creative input...and time to think of really creative excuses as to why you needed to wait to cash your paycheck, umm, forever. Ah, we kid. In any event, the year was 1995, and after losing top prospects like Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Dean Malenko to ATM Eric, Paul HAD to rebound and present a kick ass show. Did he come through? Click HERE to find out! Updated: Doctor Gonzo returns to the fold after almost a year's absence with ACERBIC TREATS! (11/30/06) In this edition, Gonzo catches up on the crazy year in pro-wrestling since his absence, with everything from Edge being on fire (and just not in the genital region), to ECW being stripped naked, raped and left for dead for the New ECW, and Kurt Angle's leaving WWE behind for three little letters (not ICU). Click HERE to read the doctor's latest prescription! Updated: The Following was paid for by the Friends and Supporters of Canadian Bacon for Writer of the Year. Click HERE for Bacon propaganda! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with a *All New* SATIRE as he presents: WWE DISCONTINUED XMAS MERCHANDISE! (11/20/06) With Christmas just around the corner, what better way to spend your few remaining dollars (left over after the seemingly infinite line-up of fucking pay-per-views this year) then on the following "quality WWE merchandise!" After all, if they don't move this stuff, and fast, stockholders just might get time to figure out what "plummeting domestic buyrates" means!... and well, I don't think they need to tell you what that means! (Seriously. They're not telling you. Everything is fine! Ahem.). Click here to read Sean's ridiculous Shopzone spoof! Updated:  Has WWE.Com Been Hacked? (11/12/06) Reader Frank from The Crow's Loft.com chimes in with the photographic "proof"! Click here! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with a Retro SATIRE as he presents: LIFE AFTER WRESTLING: Jobs After Doing JOBS! (11/08/06) Just what does a wrestler do when he doesn't wrestle anymore? Sean explores this and more in perhaps his most ridiculous Satire ever! From Lita being the perfect host! (for diseases?) to Jake Roberts DDTing mortality, Ric Flair putting his "Road Rage" to good use, and Goldberg "jack-hammering" for Jehovah, it's all here and more! Click here to read! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with a brand new  update for TWF ENTERTAINMENT! (10/19/06) This week, Sean takes a look at the worst of the worst in films adapted from comic books, video games, and cartoons with The Top 10 WORST Movie Adaptations EVER! From super hero costumes adorned with strange rubber nipples, to He-Man hobnobbing with Monica from Friends, just which cinematic stinkbomb drove Sean to the brink of insanity and ultimately came in at number one? Click here to find out! Updated:  Harry Simon returns with a ClassicSHMAZZ! (09/17/06) Widely considered Harry's most celebrated piece ever, it's the 50 Dumbest Real-Life Wrestler Moments EVER! Wrestling is known for a lot of the asinine things that go on in the ring, but sometimes, the dumbest acts take place outside the squared circle and in real life. This is a tribute to those moments and the dumbest of the dumb, who through bad decision making, intoxication, or just plain stupidity perpetrated some of the most ridiculous TRUE LIFE acts in the history of the sport! Click HERE for part 1. Click HERE for part 2. Click HERE for part 3! Updated: "The Vault" with Harry Simon is now updated! (09/11/06) In this edition, Harry tackles the 1994 Coliseum release: WHAM BAM BODYSLAM. 1994 was a strange year for the WWF. There were plenty of stupid gimmicks like Sparky Plugg and Kwang running amok, but there were also three of the best workers in WWF history in their collective prime (Bret, Owen, and Shawn). This tape was a good example of both the best and the worst WWF had to offer at this time. From Razor Ramon battling Jeff Jarrett with a retard by his side (not X-Pac) to Bret settling his issues with brother Owen "Lumberjack style", this tape has something for everyone! Even strategy tips from Todd Pettingill! Dear Lord. Click HERE to read. Updated: "The Vault" with Harry Simon is now updated! (08/14/06) The time is 1993, and the tape is WWF GRUDGE MATCHES! The only problem is none of these guys have any reason to even be wrestling whatsoever, let alone "feuding". (Obviously WWE missed the memo on what the word "grudge" means.). Anyway, with that said, join Harry as he hilariously attempts (in vain) to make sense of it all, and learn what secret connection Demolition, of all people, strangely plays in it all! Click here to read! Updated:  Sean Carless's Back-Leg Frontkick is finally Updated! (08/10/06) *Jam-Packed* Edition, Featuring WWE Fall TV Preview 2006, Completely Random News: FEATURING WWEnzymes~!, Diva's Search, Patterson's Heart Go Banana, Hulk Hogan Jobs to A Couch! Vince Fights Science! Plus, Undertaker Taken Under the Wing of Mr. Miyagi? An *Exclusive* Behind The Scenes Look At John Cena's "The Marine"! And Things I Learned From Watching WWE.  All This, Plus Much More! Click here to read the ridiculousness! Updated: "Demented Diatribe of Doom" by Remy is now updated! (07/07/06) In this Edition, Remy reveals *exclusive* email correspondence between Vince McMahon & Dixie Carter, Edge & Christian and more as he presents: Letters From The Wrestling World! Click here to read! Updated:  ROB VAN DAMNED? (07/03/06) With the *HUGE* News breaking that both Sabu & Rob Van Dam were arrested for drug possession, James Walker & Joe Merrick chime in with what the Chronic duo may have in store for them, and whether Rob & Sabu will be strating their own Chain Gang. (Note: The kind with 300 pound black guys, not teenage girls). Click here to read all about it Updated: TNA PPV REPORT! (06/22/06) Remy chimes in with the TNA SLAMMIVERSARY PPV Report! It's Slammiversary, and it's hard to believe it was just four years ago the world title picture revolved entirely around Jeff Jarrett. Oh wait.  In any event, just what did TNA have in store for us on it's 4th anniversary? Could Samoa Joe do what dozens of others could not, and pry a watchable match from Scott Steiner? And who ended up King of the non-existent Orlando Mountain in TNA when the smoke cleared? Click here for Remy's full report to find out! Updated: Sean Carless's Back-Leg Frontkick is finally Updated! (06/09/05)The Summer Of Sean is Here! Featuring All New Content! Including TWF's True Hollywood Death Valley Story: KANE; Featuring *EXCLUSIVE* Never-Before Heard Details Of The Big Red Machine's Origins And Life! Plus, RAW Thoughts, Featuring The Alliance ECW, And the Return Of WWE's Favorite Shit Disturber and Shit Distributor, Randy Orton! Plus All New "Whatever Happened To" Featuring The Last Person To Ever Lie Down For Bret Hart! This Plus So Much More! Click here to read the Stupidity! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with a *All New* SATIRE as he presents: ECW GOES SCI-FI! (05/31/06) With the announcement that ECW is set to debut on the Sc-Fi channel, speculation abounded as to what Vince had in mind when he claimed that ECW would *appeal* to Sci-Fi fans. With that said, join Sean as he takes a ridiculous look at potential science-fiction inspired gimmicks for ECW stars and the possible new faces that will join the fold! Sabu leaps from the top rope and through time! RVD hunts down the future leader of the human resistance with potatoes! Tazz calls the action in a 6 inch tall plastic space suit! It's all here! No Trekkies were harmed in the making of this satire. Except one. But he was morbidly overweight anyway, so it was probably just natural causes. Click here to read! Updated: TWF RADIO! (05/19/06) Now LIVE streaming, in this 3rd edition: Sean Carless Rants on RAW: the night logic and common sense died forever! Including a half naked Kane at his movie premiere, digging up ECW angles, burying ECW's Rob Van Dam; SD's Hosses, bosses and too many losses, Big Sexy the Giant Midget killer, Kamala croons, someone makes Cena look like a buffoon, and Extreme Championship Wrestling Science Fiction Theater! All this, plus much more! Click here to begin listening! Updated: TNA PPV REPORT! (05/17/06) Remy chimes in with the TNA SACRIFICE 2006 PPV Report! It's TNA Sacrifrice, and Remy sacrificed his money so you wouldn't have to! 3 championships are on the line! TNA travels back to the year 2000 to settle a tag team rivalry 6 years in the not caring about! Samoa Joe busts Jeff Jarrett's muscles! Kevin Nash does a run in (walk in?) during the X-Cup finale, and a Christian settles the score with Satan! Click here for Remy's full report! Updated: CLASSIC SATIRE Repost (05/04/06) Just when you thought WWE couldn't sink any lower with the HBK/God storyline, Sean Carless chimes in with the MONEY match we REALLY want to see: "THE DREAM MATCH: Shawn Michaels Vs. Jesus!" Just how would the resilient HBK fare against the even more resilient King of Kings (not Triple H) in a thrilling catch as catch can (and not fish) tête - à - tête? And what kind of offense could we expect out of the Savior? Sean breaks it all down and probably guarantees eternal damnation, all for you reading pleasure here. Updated: TNA PPV REPORT! (04/26/06) Remy chimes in with the TNA LOCKDOWN 2006 PPV Report! Featuring enough steel cage matches to kill the gimmick forever! Low Ki is so low key he isn't even Low Ki anymore! Sabu goes from X-Division to Ex-Tna wrestler, Christian and Abyss put on the best smarmy Canadian vs. misunderstood hardcore monster match since Edge and Foley did it first, and Team Sting takes on Team Jarrett in Lethal Lockdown...and NOT War Games! Please don't tell Vince! All kidding aside, it was one hell of a show, and you can check out Remy's take HERE! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with a *Brand New* SATIRE as he presents: WWE'S STRAIGHT-TO-DVD RELEASES! (03/15/06) In this satire, Sean looks at possible future movie vehicles for various WWE stars, and what may be on the horizon for WWE cough*XFL*cough Films. (Suddenly, John Cena's "The Marine" is lookin' a whole lot better...) Click here to read! Updated: Dave Gagnon returns with an *All New*  "OWNED!" (02/22/06) In this hilarious short, Gags presents Matt Hardy's attempt to sway Tatanka to be his tag team partner with "TRUE STORY: MATT HARDY'S QUEST". Click here to read this classic Gagnon post! Updated: "The Vault" with Sean Carless is now updated! (02/19/06) In this edition, Sean looks at WWF's Most Unsual Matches! The Konami cheat code is in effect when Hulk Hogan(s) takes on Harley Race(s); plus, Lumberjacks, the elderly, midgets, women, animals! This tape expolits them all! Click Here to read! Updated: "The Vault" with Harry Simon is now updated! (02/05/06) Before he was hitting on the elderly, going on benders and losing every job he had, Scott Hall was Razor Ramon. Click here for Harry's Coliseum review of the Bad Guy! Updated:  Sean Carless returns with a *Brand New* SATIRE as he presents: H 2.0: Guess Who's HHHaving A Baby! (01/18/06) A ridiculous look at the peaks and valleys of the Helmsley's first child. What's in store for Triple H and Steph over the next nine months; and how will HHH react when someone is yelling "push!" and it isn't directed at him? It's all here! From copulation to birth and beyond, I've clearly gone too far. Click here to read! Updated: SATIRE! (11/02/05)  Originally posted in May of 2005, Sean Carless presents *The Special Edition* of RAW IS STAR WARS! (Hey, George Lucas isn't the only one who likes to play out his shit!). In any event, we look at what WWE might have been like had George Lucas taken over all writing duties! (Includes brand new pictures and more!) Click here to read! Updated: THE WRESTLING FAN.COM's FAQ's! (04/09/05) Everything you've ever wanted know about TWF, the writers, satire and more....and a WHOLE LOT you probably never wanted to know! All here as we answer your most Frequently Asked Questions! (not for the easily offended...) Click HERE to read! (C) Copyright 2003-2009 - The Wrestling Fan/Sean Carless. All Rights Reserved.