Note from Sean: So, ya, Site's pretty much dead. But hey, 9 years, not too bad. Anyway, while I still plan on doing the Fanny's in December, Updates will from this point forward consist of stupid random shit here and there until I figure things out. Deal, yo. It is what it is.

January 8, 2012

SKYRIM MACHO DRAGON MOD

December 31, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S EPISODE: UFC 141: LESNAR VS. OVEREEM! FEATURING ETHNICALLY DRIVEN VIOLENCE (WITH A HAPPY ENDING!), JON FITCH GETTING HIS FACE DECISIONED AND THE LESNAR ERA COMING TO AN END IN THE UFC! ALL THIS AND MORE, RIGHT HERE!

December 11, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC 140: JONES VS. MACHIDA! FEATURING TITO ORTIZ CRYING LIKE A BABY, FRANK MIR SNAPPING BIG NOG’S ARM LIKE A DORITO CHIP AND JON JONES PULLING A PAGE OUT OF CM PUNK’S PLAYBOOK BY MAKING LYOTO MACHIDA GO TO SLEEP! ALL THIS AND MORE, RIGHT HERE

December 7, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: KEVIN NASH: MASTER OF THE LADDER MATCH.

by Sean Carless

Tell us this isn't how you also pictured it going down...

November 28, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: Ice Cold Mike Mizanin opens up a can cup of whoop-ass. Click HERE to read!

November 26, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: HOW WE'D WRITE JOHN MORRISON OUT OF WWE

by Sean Carless

The scuttlebutt is that JoMo was written out of WWE on the latest Zach Ryder Z! True Long Island Story. But we think it should have gone a different way...

November 21, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: R-Truth gets Wellnessed got. Click HERE to read!

November 20, 2011

LIVE WWE SURVIVOR SERIES 2011 COVERAGE!

It's the 25th Annual Survivor Series! But does someone get pinned tonight with a clothesline or suplex for old time's sake? Umm, probably not. Titles are on the line! Miz & R Truth play the role of that team that always plays the Globe Trotters. It's a happening! Click HERE for all the discussion, nervous breakdowns and more!

November 16, 2011

BACK-LEG FRONTKICK: SURVIVING CALIFORNIA: ONE MAN'S SPIRITUAL JOURNEY OF LIFE & LOVE TO UFC ON FOX AND BACK.

by Sean Carless

I was recently run over. Again. (Seriously.). All looked dark. All looked bleak. I soon realized this was because I have no window in my room, and forgot to pay my power bill. THEN, SUDDENLY, THERE WAS LIGHT. I was healed and back on the road (quite literally) to recovery and to UFC ON FOX. And yes, there is someone on this Earth who actually pays me to do this. This is my road report. Masturbation & tasteless jokes about varying illegalities abound. I talk about maybe 1% of the show. It's a scene, man. I apologize to no one. Click HERE to read!

November 15, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Stuart Munro

This week: New recapper, same show. Click HERE to read!

November 14, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC ON FOX: VELASQUEZ VS. DOS SANTOS! THE UFC MAKES ITS NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT BY ANSWERING THE TIMELESS QUESTION…WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE 59 MINUTES OF LIVE TV TIME TO FILL? Click HERE for all this and MORE!

November 4, 2011

OCCUPY PARTS UNKNOWN!

by Sean Carless

For too long the top 1% of face-painted in our country have received the lion's share of wealth, tax breaks, and repeated delivery of clotheslines and/or flying shoulder-tackles . And this happens and is tolerated despite there being enough DESTRUCITY for everyone! Our forefathers and of course the skeletons, did not make the supreme sacrifice so only the 1% could only prosper and make little sense during interviews. We did not overcome the Warlords (and the Barbarians) of international conflict over seas to be left with nothing but the tassels on our arms.

For too long, the breaks have been relegated to those in our One Warrior Nation who insist on using unscrupulous means to maintain their wealth/horde their multi-colored belts.

Out there, right now, a Demolition Smash is leisurely golfing amidst our economic strife, while hard working self-employed Parts Unknowners like Papa Shango struggle to make ends meet via cartoony voodoo ceremony/prostitution. It's not right. And it's not fair. Someone get him a coat for god(father)'s sake. He must be freezing in only that Top Hat.

Let's do our part. Lets blow up economic inequality like Warrior blows up 3 minutes into a contest. Lets shake up those ropes of economic greed! Let's make a difference by ASSUMING THE CONTROLS OF OUR NATION'S FUTURE, and TEARING DOWN THE COCKPIT DOORS of economic collapse. Join us as we take it to the streets of Parts Unknown in our puce-colored underwear. Unity will reign. Press-Slams will fly. Let's make a big splash where it hurts (The ribs? The stomach? Both? ). OCCUPY PARTS UNKNOWN. For our Nation's future, today. (Non-Faarooq version).

October 24, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: Survivor Series is brought to you by the band Saliva. Click HERE to read!

October 23, 2011

Wrestling with Logic

by Robert Zarp

This week, Examination #1: Where's the “Wrestling?” Click HERE to read!

October 20, 2011

WWE SMACKDOWN RANT

by "Great" Scott

Tonight: Two Sin Cara's enter. One Sin Cara leaves. Both probably botch some shit. Click HERE to read

October 17, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: THIS IS JUAN CENA COUNTRY. Click HERE to read!

October 13, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 20th and final(?) edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL! Click HERE to read more!

October 11, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: The WWE Superstars go back to work. But good booking remains outside. Click HERE to read!

October 9, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT returns with an all-new ROCKTAGON! This week’s feature: UFC 136: EDGAR VS. MAYNARD III! Featuring featherweight brawls (both awesome and underwhelming), Frankie Edgar proving that he was probably involved in the Weapon X project and oh yeah. . .CHAEL FREAKING SONNEN RETURNS! Click HERE for all this and MORE!

October 9, 2011

LATEST PRO-WRESTLING-STYLE PROMO BY UFC'S CHAEL SONNEN

posted by Sean Carless

October 3, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: HHH loses the popular vote. But the Electoral college of Stephanie's vag sways the decision. Click HERE to read!

October 2, 2011

LIVE WWE HELL IN A CELL 2011 COVERAGE!

John Cena goes to Hell. But does he stay? Can he? Plus, Apex Predators meet legit Alien Predators, when Randy Orton meets Mark Henry. Coverage starts at 8:00 pm eastern. Results will follow. Click HERE for all the discussion, nervous breakdowns and more!

September 28, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 19th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL! And Stephen is ...missing? Click HERE to read more!

September 27, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: ANAL BLEEDING. Click HERE to read!

September 25, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE - UFC 135: JONES VS. RAMPAGE! FEATURING NUMEROUS UNDERWHLEMING PERFORMANCES BY EX-PRIDE F.C. ALUM, A SUPER SAMOAN SLAYING A HEAVYWEIGHT ZOMBIE AND B.A. BARACUS GETTING HIS A.S.S. KICKED! Click HERE to read more!

September 24, 2011

WWE SMACKDOWN RANT

by "Great" Scott

Tonight: Mark Henry meets Christian in a Lumberjack Breakfast Match. Click HERE to read

September 23, 2011

WCW MONDAY NITRO: THE LOST RECAPS

by Esben Evans

In this edition: Hulk Hogan would rather film 3 Ninjas than be live on Nitro after the biggest moment in WCW history. No one wonder this place went out of business... Click HERE to read!

September 19, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: Fallout from Night of Champions, firings, and does HHH own more than one more suit? Click HERE to read!

September 18, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 18th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL! Click HERE to read more!

September 17, 2011

Top 5 Biggest Character Flaws Of Faces Today

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

Plus a new episode of the Rundown. Click HERE to read!

September 9, 2011

TOP 5 WAYS WWE HAS POTENTIALLY DROPPED THE BALL WITH CM PUNK

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

Plus a new episode of the Rundown. Click HERE to read!

September 7, 2011

REMEMBERING BILL “POTSHOT” KUNKEL

by Harry Simon

TWF legend Harry Simon pays tribute to his late friend, and celebrated wrestling journalist/cartoonist, Bill Kunkel. Click HERE to read!

September 6, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: New Faces! Same winners! Click HERE to read!

September 3, 2011

VIDEO SATIRE: STAR WARS: A "WOO" HOPE BLU-RAY EDIT

Sean Carless

Apparently, in his recent attempt to "make love" to our childhood, George Lucas made the following strange edit to the upcoming Ep. 4 Blu-Ray: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0EUjobdavw&feature=player_embedded). I was then inspired to make my *own* edit. Woo, or woo not, there is no try.

September 2, 2011

WWE SMACKDOWN RANT

by "Great" Scott

Tonight: WWE proves that they have no concept of the term "even rivalry". Click HERE to read

September 2, 2011

TOP 5 Ways Michael Cole has ruined commentary for the WWE

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

Plus a new episode of the Rundown. Click HERE to read!

September 1, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 17th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL! Click HERE to read more!

August 29, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: HHH presents a WWE RAW SUPERSHOW! When he's not talking. Click HERE to read!

August 27, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT RETURNS WITH AN ALL NEW ROCKTAGON! THIS WEEK’S FEATURE: UFC 134: SILVA VS. OKAMI! FEATURING BRAZILIANS WITH SUSPICIOUSLY NICE HAIRCUTS BEATING THE HELL OUT OF EVERYBODY, A JASON BIGGS LOOKALIKE GETTING KO’ED BY A PLANET OF THE APES EXTRA AND IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT BURGER KING IMPROVES YOUR BOXING ABILITY! Click HERE to read more!

August 26, 2011

WWE SMACKDOWN RANT

by "Great" Scott

Tonight: Guest GM Bret Hart is the one with all the stroke around here. Ahem. Click HERE to read

August 25, 2011

Top 5 Gimmicks That Need To Return!

by Robert Zarp

Click HERE to read!

August 23, 2011

WWE NXT RANT

by Emerson Witner

This week: The longest running episodic show no one other watches continues! Click HERE to read more!

August 23, 2011

Top 5 Wrestlers Who Don't Deserve Their Push

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

Plus a new episode of the Rundown. Click HERE to read!

August 22, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: Apparently Kevin Nash can survive a car wreck, but not walking to a ring. Imagine that.Click HERE to read!

August 20, 2011

WWE SMACKDOWN RANT

by "Great" Scott

Tonight: Mark Henry earns the right to have a terrible match with Randy Orton at Night of Champions! Plus Alberto Del Rio makes his big Smackdown return...like 7 days after the last one. Do these people even watch their own product? Click HERE to read

August 18, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 16th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL! Featuring the "Mental Wellness Test"! Click HERE to read more!

August 18, 2011

Top 5 Summerslam'11 Moments Ruined by Immediate BS

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

Plus a new episode of the Rundown. Click HERE to read!

August 15, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: RAW IS POOCHIE. Click HERE to read!

August 14, 2011

LIVE WWE SUMMER SLAM 2011 COVERAGE!

Click HERE for all the coverage, results, discussion, nervous breakdowns and more!

August 13, 2011

WWE SMACKDOWN RANT

by "Great" Scott

Tonight: It's the go home show for Summer Slam! But will they add one more match to the four(!) only announced? Or will Cee Lo Green have to go broadway for two hours this Sunday? Click HERE to find out!

August 13, 2011

WCW MONDAY NITRO: THE LOST RECAPS

by Esben Evans

On tonight’s show...Where the fuck is Eric Bischoff? (no one apparently knows or really cares) Who is the third man, brother? And HOLY FUCK DID "MEAN" GENE JUST GRAB WOMAN'S ASS!!? Get the answers to all these questions and MORE WCW tomfoolery in this week’s *SPECIAL PAY-PER-VIEW* episode! Click HERE to read!

August 9, 2011

Editorial

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

Malcolm chimes in with a rebuttal to James Swift's latest ROCKTAGON, "Why the 'CM Punk' Angle...Sucks?". Click HERE to read!

August 8, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: Summer Slam is brought to you by spiders, transvestite Wonder Woman and the death of Marty Funkhouser. Click HERE to read!

August 5, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT returns with an all new ROCKTAGON SPECIAL REPORT: Why the “CM Punk” Angle...Sucks? (hey, don't look at us, we didn't say it...). Click HERE to read!

August 3, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 15th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL! Click HERE to read more!

August 2, 2011

WWE NXT RANT

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

This week: Titus O'Neil teams with a fellow brother in-unfortunately exposing your penis online: Matt Striker! Click HERE to read more!

August 1, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: 54% of the WWE Universe think John Cena is WWE Champion. Al Gore demands a recount. Click HERE to read!

July 27, 2011

WWE NXT RANT

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

This week: NECKLACE ON A POLE. NXT Main Event or Urban Dictionary-inspired euphemism for a depraved sex act? You decide. Click HERE to read more!

July 26, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: We have a new WWE Champion! And a new WWE Champion! And an old WWE Champion! Click HERE to read!

July 25, 2011

WCW MONDAY NITRO: THE LOST RECAPS

by Esben Evans

On tonight’s show...Who has stolen DDP’s Battle Bowl ring? Who has Booker T been on the phone with these past weeks? Why were those two questions the most exciting things to happen on this show? Get the answers to all these questions and MORE WCW tomfoolery in this week’s episode! Click HERE to read!

July 21, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 14th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL. Join Stephen as he shares his thoughts on Money in the Bank, CM Punk, and Sin Cara's possible new gig as Sin Empleo. Also, you wanna know how Sting got those scars? Click HERE to read more!

July 19, 2011

WWE NXT RANT

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

This week: Darren Young and Titus O'Neil continue their Best of Eternity series. There are no winners. Click HERE to read more!

July 19, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: Vince McMahon’s character is relieved of his duties for incompetence. But no worries, wrestling fans. He'll still make terrible decisions in real life. Click HERE to read!

July 17, 2011

LIVE WWE MONEY IN THE BANK COVERAGE!

Click HERE for all the coverage, results, discussion, nervous breakdowns and more!

July 12, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY: JOHN CENA'S A PHONY!

by Sean Carless & Catherine Perez
(see Rock's video below for joke explanation).

July 12, 2011

THE ROCK RESPONDS TO JOHN CENA

posted by Sean Carless

July 12, 2011

WWE NXT RANT

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

This week: Batemania continues. Click HERE to read more!

July 12, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: Colt Cabana and 1980's Ice Cream bars are more over than John Cena in his hometown. Click HERE to read!

July 11, 2011

THE ROCKTAGON

by James Swift

JAMES SWIFT returns with an all new ROCKTAGON! This week’s feature: READY TO RUMBLE! The 2000 “classic” starring David Arquette and more dead wrestlers than you can shake a stick at! Click HERE to read more about WCW’s first...and thankfully, only...foray into cinema!

July 08, 2011

AWESOME PRO-WRESTLING-STYLE PROMO BY UFC'S CHAEL SONNEN

posted by Sean Carless
(the magic starts at 6:40)

July 07, 2011

4TH FALL

by Stephen Rivera

This week, the 13th edition of Stephen Rivera's 4TH FALL. Join Stephen as he takes on YOUR questions! Dying to know the whereabouts of Judy Bagwell? (Neither are we...) Want your son back despite lacking the knowledge of "how"? Stephen's got you covered! Click HERE to read more!

July 5, 2011

WWE NXT RANT

by Malcolm Not in the Middle

This week: Titus O'Neil TEAMS with Darren Young. And the universe implodes upon itself. Click HERE to read more!

July 4, 2011

BEST DAMN RAW RANT, PERIOD

by Cameron Burge

This week: John Cena finds out he must defeat CM Punk at the PPV...or he's fired! For realz this time. (He'll be back the same night). Click HERE to read!

July 3, 2011

PHOTOSHOP OF THE DAY

by Catherine Perez

To commemorate the 40th anniversary of the passing of Jim Morrison, allow us to present JOHN MORRISON, the fat Morrison years!:

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